women are starting now, and men will be told two minutes ahead of time (Global Orgasm Day)

"A group called Orgasm for Peace is trying to promote peace by trying to have everyone in the world have an orgasm at the same time on Dec. 22. To prepare for the Dec. 22 orgasm, women are starting now, and men will be told two minutes ahead of time." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is back from his big trip to Asia. In fact, this is the first time he was able to get out of Vietnam without any help from his dad." --Jay Leno

"A new poll finds that 60 percent of Americans think George W. Bush is a worse president than his father. However, President Bush's advisers cheered him up by telling him he's the second best George W. Bush who's ever been president." --Conan O'Brien