Ann Coulter sperm donor (day that will live in the infirmary)

"Vice President Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary, is pregnant. The big guessing game in Washington now is who donated the sperm? I'm guessing Ann Coulter." --Jay Leno

"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has warned western leaders to 'follow the path of God or vanish from the face of the earth.' Experts say it is the most bone-chilling threat delivered from a four-foot tall man in a 'Members Only' jacket." --Conan O'Brien

"Today is December 7th, the 65th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Or as President Bush refers to it, 'The day that will live in the infirmary.'" --Conan O'Brien