"President Bush now
in his eight day trip to China. His approval rating is 31%. Not good. To give
you an idea of how unpopular President Bush is, on Air Force One now, he can't
even get the window seat." --Jay Leno
"A recent study shows
that Osama bin Laden wields a surprisingly low amount of influence over Islamic
ideology. They don't listen to him. I don't want to say Osama's losing power,
but you want to know what his al Qaeda code name is now? Donald Rumsfeld."
--Jay Leno
"2008. The field's
already getting crowded with candidates. Everyone knows about Hillary and
McCain, but who else has a shot? On the Republican side, Rudy Giuliani. Hero.
9/11. Time person of the year. Member of the comb over club. But also a member
of the New York, divorced, pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-stem cell research,
gay-friendly wing of the Republican Party. I'm sorry, did I say wing? I meant
room. Did I say room? I meant corner. Did I say corner? I meant table -- for
one." --Jon Stewart
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