"During
a speech at the Capitol yesterday, the Dalai Lama admitted that his English
language skills equal those of a kindergartner's. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'No one likes a show-off.'" --Conan
O'Brien
"This
week, the U.S. Army removed several recruiting ads from a web site because the
web site targets homosexual men. The ad said, 'Uncle Sam Wants You ...
Bad.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Earlier
this week, Vice President Cheney's wife said that Vice
President Cheney is
actually a distant cousin of Barack
Obama. At first Obama
was skeptical, then he remembered that his great-great-grandmother once had a
demon out of wedlock." --Conan O'Brien
"Lynne
Cheney, Dick Cheney's wife, is getting all wound up. She says that she would be
uncomfortable with Hillary Clinton running the country. Lynne is uncomfortable
with Hillary. Bill said, 'Join the club.'" --David Letterman
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