Al Gore's totally focused on winning the Heisman

"Rudy Giuliani and  John McCain have teamed up to attack Mitt Romney. See, you need two people to attack Romney -- one for each of his positions on the issue. Political experts are saying that Giuliani and McCain could be the Republican ticket. Or, a remake of 'Grumpy Old Men'" --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton raised $35 million in three months. That's the most money ever raised by a woman, if you don't count what Oprah's made since lunch." --David Letterman

"China, though, is upset with Bush because he met with the Dalai Lama. I just hope they don't start putting lead paint in our toys." --David Letterman

"Earlier this year,  Al Gore won an Emmy and an Oscar. Now that he's won a Nobel Peace Prize, some people say he may run for president. Gore says he's not even thinking about the presidency 'cause he's totally focused on winning the Heisman." --Conan O'Brien