Who was chairing this commission, Michael Jackson?

"Today the House Ethics Committee released its report on Mark Foley. Well, they found willful ignorance, but no rules were broken. They said the whole thing was proper according to the law. Okay, Cardinal Bernard Law. Hitting on kids is not a crime? Who was chairing this commission, Michael Jackson." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, the Christmas tree in front of the White House fell over. Even after the tree collapsed, President Bush insisted that the tree was doing a heckuva job." --Conan O'Brien

"Earlier in the week, NASA announced plans to establish a manned base on the moon. President Bush was quick to point out, 'We're only going to stay on the moon until the moon people are able to govern themselves. President Bush also suggested waiting until there was a full moon, so there would be more places to land.'" --Jay Leno