President
Obama signed legislation this week that replaced the term “Eskimo” in all
federal laws with the phrase “Alaska Native.” “Fine, I’ll have seven Alaska
Native pies,” said Chris Christie. –Seth Meyers
The
Trump campaign is about to launch a secret plan to attack Hillary Clinton over
the Whitewater scandal from the ’90s. We know he's going to do this because
they accidentally emailed the secret plan to a reporter. Which means that,
shockingly, Hillary Clinton might be the candidate who’s second worst while
using email. –Stephen Colbert
Even
when you do give Hillary Clinton a clear "no," what she hears is,
"Try again in eight years." –Stephen Colbert
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