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Saturday, May 21, 2016

I have a feeling a lot of women are about to take that really personally



Ed Rendell tried to help Hillary Clinton by attacking her opponent, saying, "Trump's comments, like 'you can't be a 10 if you're flat-chested,' will come back to haunt him." And then Rendell helpfully added, "There are probably more ugly women in America than attractive women. People take that stuff personally." Yep, I have a feeling a lot of women are about to take that really personally. –Stephen Colbert
The Wall Street Journal just reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that every person in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. So the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese, just say, "I'm doing this for America." –Jimmy Fallon
Bernie Sanders won last night's Oregon Democratic primary and this was a surprise. Hillary came in third — behind a bag of weed. –Seth Meyers




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