It was revealed that DANIEL DAY LEWIS is coming out of his seven year retirement to film a new movie, and you won't believe it. It's Shrek six. —Colin Jost
President Biden made a surprise appearance at a white House press briefing on Friday, and it's not a great sign when you're at the white House and people are like, whoa, what's the president doing here? —Colin Jost
"Today President Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage. He said he hoped his support would make it easier for gay people to get married and for John Travolta to get a massage." –Conan O'Brien
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has been given a new title, "Chairman of the Workers' Party." This narrowly beat out his second choice, "Mother of Dragons." –Conan O’Brien
Yesterday, Kim Jong Un hurled a series of insults at Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. In a related story, Fox News has finally found its replacement for Bill O’Reilly. –Conan O’Brien
"Today President Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage. He said he hoped his support would make it easier for gay people to get married and for John Travolta to get a massage." –Conan O'Brien
"Dick Cheney says he gives Obama high marks on getting bin Laden. He said, 'Trust me, I know how hard it is to shoot someone in the face.'" –Conan O'Brien
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has been given a new title, "Chairman of the Workers' Party." This narrowly beat out his second choice, "Mother of Dragons." –Conan O’Brien
"Today President Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage. He said he hoped his support would make it easier for gay people to get married and for John Travolta to get a massage." –Conan O'Brien
In an upcoming interview with Fox News' Megyn Kelly, Donald Trump tells her that although they’ve reconciled their feud, "this could happen again." Especially if Megyn Kelly continues to stubbornly insist on being a woman. –Conan O’Brien
"Apparently Rick Santorum endorsed Mitt Romney last night very late via email. That just makes Santorum one of the 10 million guys ashamed of what he did late last night on his computer." –Conan O'Brien
"Rick Santorum finally endorsed Mitt Romney at 11:00 last night. When reached for comment, Santorum said, 'When I can't sleep, I try endorsing Mitt Romney for president and it puts me right out.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Dick Cheney says he gives Obama high marks on getting bin Laden. He said, 'Trust me, I know how hard it is to shoot someone in the face.'" –Conan O'Brien
"The new iPhone is coming soon. The new iPhone is going to have a new feature that actually keeps track of your every movement. Then President Obama was like, 'Right. NEW feature.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Yesterday, Obama met with the prime minister of Greece at the White House. When he heard the leader of Greece was there, Biden said, 'John Travolta's here?' " –Jimmy Fallon
"Some unelected, activist judge has rejected Stop and Frisk on the bizarre theory that minorities have the constitutional right not to be stopped at random and manhandled by strangers. Despite the fact that when the Constitution was written, minorities weren't even invented yet." –Stephen Colbert
"Today President Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage. He said he hoped his support would make it easier for gay people to get married and for John Travolta to get a massage." –Conan O'Brien
"This week President Obama awarded Burt Bacharach the Gershwin Prize. If that doesn't increase Obama's street cred, nothing will." –Conan O'Brien
"It's come down to Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. And Mitt Romney is fighting this image that he has no personality, and the reason for this, of course, is that he has no personality." –David Letterman
"Membership and recruiting of Al Qaeda is drying up. Far be it for me to tell terrorists about strategy but I think membership started to subside when they went to the suicide bomber exploding underpants." –David Letterman
"Let's just say you put on the exploding underpants and you detonate. When they bring in the 72 virgins, then what?" –David Letterman
We have John Travolta on the show tonight. And this weekend is actually the 40th anniversary of the movie "Grease." To celebrate, President Trump and Kim Jong Un sang a duet of "You're the One That I Want." --Jimmy Fallon
Actually the people at the White House are pretty excited that Trump is back. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, "Oh. Good." Melania Trump said, "Wait, he's back? Like, NOW?" And finally, the White House kitchen staff screamed, "Code red! Defrost the nuggets! Go, go, go! Go! Get me dinosaur-shaped, dinosaur-shaped!" --Jimmy Fallon
Trump is really excited to tell everyone about the summit. In an interview last night Trump talked about how he and Kim really hit it off — maybe a bit too much. [clip of Trump] "The relationship was really good. He’s got a very good personality, he’s funny. It’s been a very intense relationship. It’s been short, and very intense." Sounds like somebody’s going to the Fantasy Suite! It makes sense, though. Kim is totally Trump's type. He's foreign and half his age. --Jimmy Fallon
"To comply with the World Bank's conflict of interest policy, Wolfowitz had Riza transferred to the State Department, given a $60,000 raise, a promotion, and guaranteed positive performance reviews to avoid conflict of interest. What's next? Bombing the s**t out of a country in order to help it?"--Jon Stewart
"On the tube there I had the 'Live Desk with Martha McCallum' on Fox News. I was really impressed with her profile of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Now, Romney has been under a lot of scrutiny due to his religion. Gallup poll found that 66% of Americans said they weren't ready for a Mormon president. But yesterday, Romney laid our fears to rest when Martha asked him to name his favorite novel [on screen: Romney answering L. Ron Hubbard's 'Battlefield Earth']. Battlefield Earth. We have nothing to worry about, folks. Romney's clearly not a Mormon. He's a Scientologist. And we all know they make excellent leaders [on screen: John Travolta's character saying while others were learning to spell, he was being trained to conquer galaxies]. Think how easy conquering Iraq would be next to a galaxy." --Stephen Colbert
I have been working on a
paper for the Education Market.
The paper talks about using
video games as a teaching tool for
children with learning
disabilities.
The age demographic would be
10 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to chose. Games might
include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about
various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their
team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion,
sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of
their team. The students would even be able to play along side their created
characters.
In this example I used PS4
Madden 17. On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and
Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway
and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a
simple and fun way for kids to learn.
Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might
be donated or discounted to schools for these classes.
More on the paper as it is
fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Offensive Line
LT Paul McCartney,
musician The Beatles
LG Jesus, some folks
Lord and Savior
C Charles Bukowski,
poet
RG God
RT John Lennon,
musician The Beatles
More Colts players include
Martin Luther King, Stephen
Hawking, Albert Einstein,
Muddy Waters, Winston
Churchill, Nelson Mandela
even characters from Star
Trek
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf,
Cmdr Data, James Kirk,
Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer,
Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge
Ben Sisko
and fictional characters
Jack Bauer, 24, played by
Keifer Sutherland
Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under,
played by Peter Krause
Also for sentimental reasons,
some fallen friends are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
San Diego Chargers Fantasy
Roster
Offense
QB Philip Rivers, NFL
QB Shane Falco, The
Replacements, played by Keanu Reeves
HB Ladainian Tomlinson,
NFL
HB Keith Lincoln, NFL
FB Derek Flint, In Like
Flint, played by James Coburn
FB Malcolm X, civil
rights activist
WR Lance Alworth, NFL
WR Luke Skywalker, Star
Wars, played by Mark Hamill
WR Charlie Joiner, NFL
WR Hunter Thompson,
author
TE Kellen Winslow, NFL
TE Pug Henry, Winds of
War, played by Robert Mitchum
TE Antonio Gates, NFL
RT Ron Mix, NFL
Defense
LE Joey Bosa, NFL
LE Tom Mason, Falling
Skies, played by Noah Wylie
LE Sun Tzu, Chinese
military leader
LE Jeff Lebowski, The
Big Lebowski, played by Jeff Bridges
LE Vincent Vega, Pulp
Fiction, played by John Travolta
RE Fred Dean, NFL
RE Maximus Meridius,
Gladiator, played by Russell Crowe
RE Jack
Ryan, The Hunt for Red October, played by Alec Baldwin
"Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt
themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because
they thought it was too expensive. So the people who voted for Obamacare for us
voted to exempt themselves from it. You know how doctors take the Hippocratic
Oath. Congress apparently takes the 'Hypocritic Oath.'" –Jay Leno
"Yesterday,
Obama met with the prime minister of Greece at the White House. When he heard
the leader of Greece was there, Biden said, 'John Travolta's here?' "
–Jimmy Fallon
"Michele Bachamnn has announced she is now also a citizen of Switzerland. What better way to protest a president you think is socialist than become a citizen of a country with a socialist philosophy and a mandated health care plan." –Jay Leno
"Today President Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage. He said he hoped his support would make it easier for gay people to get married and for John Travolta to get a massage." –Conan O'Brien
"Membership and recruiting of Al Qaeda is drying up. Far be it for me to tell terrorists about strategy but I think membership started to subside when they went to the suicide bomber exploding underpants." –David Letterman
"Let's just say you put on the exploding underpants and you detonate. When they bring in the 72 virgins, then what?" –David Letterman
