Winner of the Lazy Cat Award (li’l shakeroos)

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are being accused of sexism over a new campaign to target female fans by providing simplified explanations of basic rules. But if that’s the most sexist thing that happens in football this year, it's a pretty good year. –Seth Meyers

According to reports, officials at the Department of Agriculture told staffers to avoid the term “climate change” in their research and to use terms like “weather extremes” instead. And instead of earthquakes, they’re now called “li’l shakeroos.” –Seth Meyers

It is being reported that two senior aides were recently fired from the Donald Trump campaign. “Oh no, which two?!” yelled Eric and Donald Jr. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Just slowly scroll on. You saw nothing... (So get ready, Ron, he’s going to cheat on you)

January 2023

“In a new podcast episode, Donald Trump confirmed that he heard Ron DeSantis might challenge him for the Republican nomination, and said he’d ‘handle that the way I handle things’. So get ready, Ron, he’s going to cheat on you.” —Seth Meyers

“Last night the Dallas Cowboys knocked Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers out of the playoffs. Yeah, and now fans want to know, will Tom Brady retire? Yep, after the game Brady was thinking about retiring, but then he saw the price of eggs and was like, ‘I can't retire now.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“And did you guys see this? During last night's game, the Cowboys kicker missed four straight extra points. We haven't seen someone fail that many times in a row since Kevin McCarthy ran for Speaker of the House.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Madden: Dallas Cowboys vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

In other words, he pretty much gave up football for Lent (21 Lobbyists for every member of congress)

March 2022

“Yesterday, Tom Brady, the greatest quarterback of all time, woke up, noticed daylight saving time, and thought ‘What should I do with this extra hour of sunlight? I know: I’ll play a 23rd season of football.’ Forty-one days after he announced his retirement, the seven-time Super Bowl winner announced that he will play another season of football with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tom Brady is like your friend who announces she’s quitting Instagram and then posts something three hours later. I guess he realized that if he retired there wouldn’t be anyone around to make sure Gronk doesn’t eat a gallon of Tide Pods.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Brady’s retirement lasted 40 days. In other words, he pretty much gave up football for Lent.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, he was only retired for six weeks. His kids were like, ‘Is it something we said?’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which is, coincidentally, what you’d have to pay me to go to Tampa (Nah, the game needs me)

March 2022

“So with this move, Tom Brady has officially, officially, officially confirmed himself as the greatest of all time, because you see, this move right here is what all the greatest do — they retire, and they come right back. Yeah, Michael Jordan did it. Jay-Z did it. And the greatest of all time, Jesus. Yeah, that guy retired from life for three days before he was like, ‘Nah, the game needs me.’” —Trevor Noah

“Also some people are just not made for the retired life, especially Tom Brady. Think about it: For 22 years, he’s had men the size of little trucks trying to tackle him. That’s adrenaline. Yeah, can you imagine how boring his home life is right now. Even hiring his own commentators probably didn’t help.” —Trevor Noah

“Of course, my dear friend Tom Brady’s not just returning for the love of the game. He’s also set to make $25 million next season, which is, coincidentally, what you’d have to pay me to go to Tampa.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When they said everyone is quitting their jobs during the pandemic, they meant everybody (the twelfth-most popular farm animal)

February 2022

“Quarterback Tom Brady officially announced his retirement from the N.F.L. on Tuesday, writing on Instagram that other things require his attention. Man, when they said everyone is quitting their jobs during the pandemic, they meant everybody.” —Jimmy Fallon

“But this is amazing. Brady is walking away with the most Super Bowl appearances, wins and M.V.P.s. It’s strange to say, but he’s basically the N.F.L.’s Meryl Streep.” —Jimmy Fallon

“So Tom Brady did a lot for the Patriots and for Tampa and the sport of football, but he’s also done a lot for goats. You know, people don’t mention, before they were associated with him, they were like the twelfth-most popular farm animal.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

 

there’s a new retiree about to dominate the pickleball league (Dad Bod Brady. Do it! Give us hope, Tom!)

January 2022

“Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady has retired after 22 seasons and seven Super Bowl titles. So bad news for your dad: there’s a new retiree about to dominate the pickleball league.” —Stephen Colbert 

“This is the most exciting thing to happen to Cincinnati since they found all that spaghetti under their chili.” —Stephen Colbert

“Tom Brady, the 44-year-old quarterback accomplished more than any other quarterback in the history of the NFL, even though he was drafted 199th overall. Which just goes to show you that anyone can be successful as long as you’re one of the most gifted and attractive people in human history.” —Stephen Colbert

“Now that Brady appears to be hanging up the old football skates, the world may finally see what we’ve all longed for: Dad Bod Brady. Do it! Give us hope, Tom!” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry 

 

Two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (When’s nap time?)

January 2022

“The big news on Wednesday was Justice Stephen Breyer’s plan to retire from the Supreme Court. Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yep, Breyer said he wants to retire so he can spend more time looking like a wise shopkeeper from a Hallmark Christmas movie.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, it was clear Breyer has been thinking about this. During the last case, the only question he asked was, ‘When’s nap time?’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Unfortunately for Breyer, this is the only job in which you wear less robes after you retire. I hope he knows that.” —James Corden

“Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is reportedly planning to retire at the end of the current term, which would allow President Biden to appoint a successor. Said Mitch McConnell, ‘With only three years left in his term? I don’t think so.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

He normally commutes home via parade (Eh, not so much)

January 2022

“Well, guys, this weekend was the divisional round of the N.F.L. playoffs, and after all four games were decided on the final play, people are calling it the greatest playoff weekend of all time. Well, everyone from Buffalo, Green Bay, Tennessee, and Tampa are like not, ‘Eh, not so much.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, Tom Brady and the defending champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers were knocked out of the playoffs. Brady is really not used to losing — he normally commutes home via parade.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, it was a weekend of upsets on Saturday, Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers hosted the San Francisco 49ers and lost in Green Bay. In other words, Aaron Rodgers failed his at-home test.” —Jimmy Fallon

“It was crazy to see Tom Brady — it was like the Coyote finally caught the Road Runner and ate him right there on TV.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Aaron Rogers, you may recall, was caught in a series of lies about his vaccination status earlier in the season. Before the game, he lashed out at President Biden, said we have a fake White House, a bunch of other stuff befitting a man who has been hit in the head a lot of times.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Madden: Indianapolis Colts vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Dallas Cowboys vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers | Week 1 2021 Game Highlights

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Madden: Colts vs Buccaneers Super Bowl (Harry Potter 95 yd Kickoff Return for TD!)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Madden: Indianapolis Colts vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Super Bowl)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to choose. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.

Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.

On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur. 

The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.

Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.

On the Indianapolis Colts

Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis, Bob Sanders, Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton

LT Paul McCartney, musician The Beatles

LT Nelson Mandela, South African leader

LG Jesus Christ, some folks Lord and Savior

LG Ringo Starr, musician The Beatles

C Charles Bukowski, poet

C Muddy Waters, musician

RG God

RG Winston Churchill, English Prime Minister

RT John Lennon, musician The Beatles

RT George Harrison, musician The Beatles

TE/DT Clay Brannon, boy wonder

WR/DE Jeremiah Brewster, wonder boy

DT Army, Jack Renforth (RIP), TE Paul Bantley (RIP), HB/LB G. Hulse, Army, HB J. Purkey, Navy, T.F., Marines, David Wood, Marines, Ian Betts, Navy

More Colts players include Martin Luther King, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, as well as characters from Star Trek…

Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf, Cmdr Data, James Kirk,  Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer, Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge, Ben Sisko, etc.

Just in case you were confused on how we got here (Vince Lombardi hologram)

February 2021

“Yeah, Tom Brady has cemented his place on the sports Mount Rushmore, alongside Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali and that fan who took a home run ball to the chest to save his beers.” —Jimmy Fallon

“What a weekend for the people of Tampa. Forty-eight hours of nonstop drinking and partying in the streets — and then the Super Bowl.” —Jimmy Fallon

“While the teams did their best to make the game itself safe-ish, the after-party on the streets of Tampa was a different story. Because following the Bucs’ blowout victory, hordes of maskless fans partied hearty, in a foolhardy display that can only be described as ‘Florida.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, they partied hard in Tampa. One girl was so drunk, she made out with the Vince Lombardi hologram.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

there are a lot of people in this country who don’t even have one Super Bowl ring (I was eating nachos through my N95)

February 2021

“And how about Tom Brady winning his seventh Super Bowl ring? At this rate, he’s gonna be the first player with a Super Bowl toe ring, people.” —Trevor Noah

“I don’t know if they mentioned this, but Tom Brady won his seventh ring at a time when there are a lot of people in this country who don’t even have one Super Bowl ring.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I mean, at this point Tom Brady has led the kind of life that 8-year-olds narrate to themselves in their backyard: ‘The crowd goes wild! Tommy wins his seventh Super Bowl! And now he’s rich and he’s married to a supermodel! And now he’s riding a dinosaur — rawr!’” —Trevor Noah

“Tampa Bay fans were not taking precautions. Last night, they had a huge, mostly maskless celebration while I was eating nachos through my N95.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“You know, health officials are frustrated because they’ve spent the whole last year trying to educate people about the importance of masks and social distance. Unfortunately, explaining science to people from Florida is like explaining Zoom to your turtle.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

J. Lo should have gotten the chance to try (I still left early to beat traffic)

February 2021

“That’s right, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Kansas City Chiefs in last night’s Super Bowl, and look, I know it’s hard to win back-to-back Super Bowls, but honestly, J. Lo should have gotten the chance to try.” —Seth Meyers

“Yep, today in Boston, fans are happy for Brady but sad that he left the Patriots, which probably explains Sam Adams’s new beer, Sam Adams’s Bittahsweet Teahs.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Seriously, the game was such a dud. I watched it from home and I still left early to beat traffic.” —Jimmy Fallon

“At a certain point, even Buccaneers fans were like, ‘Just end the game so we can get to Queen Latifah.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Be quiet — I’m trying to hear the poem! (He had four years — nothing!)

February 2021

“This was the first Super Bowl ever where I had to yell, ‘Be quiet — I’m trying to hear the poem!’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“One thing that was not normal, but was beautiful, was the pregame performance from the breakout star of Joe Biden’s inauguration, poet Amanda Gorman, who recited an original poem. It was the most exciting pregame poetry recital since Robert Frost kicked off the action at Super Bowl I.” —Stephen Colbert

“Why aren’t we off today? The one thing I was hoping Donald Trump would accomplish is getting us Super Bowl Monday off. He had four years — nothing!” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination 

of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a lifetime supply of Tampa’s legendary Hepatitis B (I like that attitude said his cellmate)

February 2021

Tomorrow the Kansas City Chiefs and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will compete in Super Bowl 55. The mayors of each city have made a fun bet on the game, pitting 50 pounds of Kansas City’s famous barbecue versus a lifetime supply of Tampa’s legendary Hepatitis B. —Michael Che

A Wisconsin man who was sentenced to 14 years for robbing a bank said he did it because he wanted to try something new. I like that attitude said his cellmate. —Michael Che

A video went viral this week of workers and customers in a Florida supermarket not wearing masks. But masks are a lot to ask in a place where the dress code is typically flip-flops and one titty out. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Joe Biden isn’t waiting for permission (a cancer on the republican party)

February 2021

President Biden said Friday that he will move ahead with his 1.9 Trillion dollar stimulus plan with or without republican support. Because this economy needs a massage and Joe Biden isn’t waiting for permission. —Colin Jost

An interview with Biden will air before tomorrow’s Super Bowl between the Bucs and the Chiefs. Incidentally, Buc and Chief are what Biden calls his friends when he forgets their names. —Colin Jost

Mitch McConnell seen here ignoring a toddler who fell through the ice, criticized GOP representative and conspiracy huffer, Marjorie Taylor Greene, saying that her looney lies and conspiracy theories are a cancer on the republican party. But keep in mind, Greene believes that cancer is a bio-weapon created in a secret Jewish lab. —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Madden 20: Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Kansas City Chiefs (Super Bowl-Overtime)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks 

about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to select. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.

Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.

On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln  will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.

The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects 

such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. 

Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for 

these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.

Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.