"The new leader of al
Qaeda released an audio tape claiming 4,000 al Qaeda members have been killed
by U.S. and Iraqi forces. In fact, so many al Qaeda guys are getting killed,
they're running out of virgins for the afterlife. Instead of 72 virgins per
guy, now 72 guys have to share one virgin." --Jay Leno
"This week Virginia
Senator George Allen introduced a bill to help black farmers. He said this
wasn't to make up for anything he's said in the past. No, this going to make up
for the stuff he says in the future." --Jay Leno
"President Bush on
Tuesday reluctantly released portions of the classified report that stated the
war in Iraq is adding to the terrorist threat throughout the world. Though
suspiciously in some portions of the report, someone had crossed out Iraq and
written in, 'Gay dudes'." --Amy Poehler of Saturday Night Live
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