Allen once had 400 slaves on a schooner named the Zulu Demon II

"A report leaked to the New York Times insinuates that the Iraq war has actually helped spread the Jihadist movement. President Bush none too pleased about the report. [on screen: Bush calling the assumption that going to Iraq was a mistake, naive]. Wow, going to Iraq being a mistake is naive? How naive? This kind of naive? [on screen: VP Dick Cheney saying, 'I really do believe we will be greeted as liberators']. That kind of naive?" --Jon Stewart

"As we know, Virginia is for lovers, and while as a state they've made progress, there are still signs of its segregationist past [on screen: water fountains with 'Lovers' and 'Non Lovers' signs above them]. That past looms large in this year's Senate race between incumbent George Allen and former Navy Secretary Jim Webb. The two are in a virtual dead heat following a series of allegations of racism against Allen. I believe you remember the first incident [on screen: Allen's 'macaca' comment]. Ah, macaca? Is that racism, or dickism?. But then the flood gates reopened. Reports surfaced that Allen had once kept a confederate flag in his living room and a noose in his law office and that he regularly used the 'N' word in college. I can only assume the 'N' word for him being nacaca. And of course, just this morning the startling revelation -- Allen once had 400 slaves on a schooner named the Zulu Demon II." --Jon Stewart