he’d heard the same criticisms when he worked at Fox and Friends (it’s the first time he’s ever been behind a woman)

During a hearing on the Iran War lawmakers complained that the war is unpopular, costly and spiraling out of control. Which didn’t faze Pete Hegseth, he’d heard the same criticisms when he worked at Fox and Friends. —Greg Gutfeld 

Apparently AOC is leading the democrats among the 2028 democratic nominees with Mayor Pete in second place. But Pete’s excited because it’s the first time he’s ever been behind a woman. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently there's a third option (defend his pardons)

So in her new book, Kamala Harris said, “Pete Buttigieg would have been an ideal partner if I were a straight white man.” Tim Walz also said the same thing.  —Greg Gutfeld

But Harris admitted she didn't pick Pete as her VP because she thought a homosexual was too big of a risk. So instead, she picked Tim Walz. Apparently because George Michael was dead. —Greg Gutfeld

Scientists say brain waves suggest there may be consciousness after people are declared clinically dead. Democrats hope the news will help Joe Biden defend his pardons. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm sorry. I misread that (We just don't know when)

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg now says that Kamala Harris should not have run. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. I misread that. She should not have rum. —Greg Gutfeld 

Meanwhile, at least one organization tried to negotiate a lower rate for Joe Biden's speaking gigs. The offer includes one roundtrip Amtrak ticket, a set of complimentary Depends, and a case of Ensure. But but Joe's agent keeps stressing that Joe's a limited time offer. Time's running out. We just don't know when. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He says he wants to spend more time with his 27 families (give those Wuhan guys some gloves)

After completing his 180 day mission at Doge Elon Musk is leaving the Trump administration. He says he wants to spend more time with his 27 families. —Greg Gutfeld

Mayor Pete said he wishes you could go back in time and open the schools in 2020. Dude, if you could time travel why not go back to 2018 and give those Wuhan guys some gloves. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Eat your heart out mayor Pete (your rulers are afraid of you)

Saturday President Biden handed out several Medals of Freedom, although it must have been weird for Hillary Clinton usually she's the one putting something around people's necks. —Greg Gutfeld

So I'm back, I had a baby I was out for a month and I have the chewed up nipples to prove it. Eat your heart out mayor Pete. —Greg Gutfeld

I’m 60 years old and when my wife told me she was pregnant, mine was the first diaper she had to change. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I know someone twice as good! Every night he has two dreams! (Favorite Nursery Rhyme?)

Ahead of next week’s vice-presidential debate, the transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, has reportedly been playing the Ohio senator JD Vance in debate prep sessions. He’s been getting into character by looking in the mirror each morning and telling himself that he’s going to hell. —Seth Meyers    

A cat that went missing during their owners’ trip to Yellowstone national park was found in California, more than 900 miles away. That story is pretty unbelievable. Who brings their cat on vacation?! —Seth Meyers  

Donald Trump endorsed Mark Robinson, the scandal-plagued Republican candidate for governor of North Carolina. In multiple appearances, Trump praised Robinson, who is Black, saying: “I’ve gotten to know him so well.” He also described Robinson as a “fine wine”, “Martin Luther King on steroids” and “Martin Luther King times two”.  Trump is really truly amazing. Everyone agrees Martin Luther King is a great person, but only Trump would say ‘I know someone twice as good! Every night he has two dreams!’ —Seth Meyers   

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it doesn't compare to the cocaine their grandma used to make (Operation Baby was a success)

April 2023

“You could tell Fox was stressed about the trial ‘cause they spent the day chugging Bud Light.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today, a toddler crawled through the fencing outside the White House. At first, the Secret Service just thought it was Pete Buttigieg. I mean, we're laughing, but when it happened, one guy was like, [Russian accent] ‘Operation Baby was a success.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Some more news from Washington. George Santos just announced that he is running for re-election. And then a minute later, he announced that he won.” —Jimmy Fallon

“I saw that nearly half a billion dollars worth of cocaine was just found floating off the coast of Italy. It's Italian cocaine, so you just sprinkle it over your pasta. Of course, everyone's talking about how it doesn't compare to the cocaine their grandma used to make.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Those were televised?! (digital protest art)

According to reports, President Trump and some of his allies have raised the possibility that Rudy Giuliani should do fewer television interviews following his recent appearances. Replied Giuliani, "Those were televised?! --Seth Meyers

Openly gay Democratic mayor Pete Buttigieg announced this morning that he has launched an exploratory committee for a possible presidential run, much to the dismay of Mike Pence, who believes being exploratory is a sin. --Seth Meyers

Oscar nominations were announced today with Meryl Streep nominated for “Florence Foster Jenkins,” Natalie Portman for “Jackie,” and Hillary Clinton for smiling her way through the inauguration. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

'COMPLETE JOKE': Norfolk Southern REFUSES To Show Up For East Palestine Hearing

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Briahna Joy Gray: Janet Yellen Makes TONE DEAF Visit To Ukraine As Americans Are BURIED In Inflation

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

He’s the 12th man on your depth chart (tragedy selfies)

March 2023

“Looking at the political jockeying following the catastrophic train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio. This feels like watching your parents fight in the kitchen and they’re both being idiots for different reasons. Republicans, listen to me. You guys love deregulation, but suddenly you now care about rail safety? A little ironic. Also, you really think Joe Biden taking a tragedy selfie would make the situation any better? 

As for the Democrats. As of now, March 1, there is zero indication that Trump’s policy caused this whole derailment. So you cannot touchdown dance. And also, what the fuck are you guys doing? How do you guys fumble the optics game every time? Why didn’t you send Joe Biden to take a tragedy selfie? Even a moron like Donald Trump managed to do it. Trump pulled up to McDonald’s and started handing out hats and Happy Meals. 

Democrats, you waited three weeks and you sent Pete Buttigieg dressed like Bob the Builder? He’s the 12th man on your depth chart. Now here’s the real issue: nobody should be trying to win a train derailment. We had about five seconds of empathy before this whole thing turned into another partisan prize fight.” —Hasan Minhaj

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If those kids could see your content they'd be very upset (That’s all they had at Baby Gap)

A four foot long alligator was discovered in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. So you can probably take down those missing dog posters. —Michael Che

Monday is National Polar Bear Day. Previously known as National Polar Bears Day. —Michael Che

China is trying to help end the war in Ukraine and proposed a twelve part plan for peace. The catch is the twelve parts have to be assembled by children. —Michael Che

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg visited East Palestine, the site of the recent train derailment, and was criticized for wearing leather dress boots. Give him a break. That’s all they had at Baby Gap. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Briahna Joy Gray: Is Pete Buttigieg's Political Career OVER? Brie & Robby Discuss FALLOUT From East Palestine Scandal

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Donald Trump Jr. is the only guy who claims himself as a dependent (Can you subpoena a mannequin?)

February 2023

“We are looking ahead to possible indictments from a Georgia grand jury over Donald Trump’s attempted election interference in Georgia. Probably the most that will happen is Trump’s lawyers will have another opportunity to file nuisance objections and delay the verdict, which is basically Trump’s strategy for everything. He’s almost 80 – if he can keep delaying long enough, he can get the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In other Trump legal news, the special counsel looking into the events of January 6th issued subpoenas for Ivanka Trump and her husband, Jared Kushner. I don’t know what the point of subpoenaing Ivanka is – you know she is just going to plead the Saks Fifth. And serving Jared raises some important and interesting legal questions like, can you subpoena a mannequin?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Meanwhile, the former president is trying to exploit the disaster in East Palestine. On Wednesday, he dropped off crates of Trump-branded bottled water, and faced tough questions for his administration’s rollback in 2018 of a rule that would have required better braking systems on trains carrying hazardous materials. So now, dummy who could’ve stayed out of this whole thing, is being held responsible for making safety last. But fortunately for him, he’s got an ardent defender in one Donald J. Jr. Appearing virtually on Fox News, the Trump’s eldest son complained about Pete Buttigieg: ‘There is no accountability. There’s not even expectation of these guys doing their jobs.’ And what is your job exactly?” I mean, seriously, besides yelling at your laptop, what is it that you do for a living? What do you write on your tax returns? ‘Son’? Donald Trump Jr. is the only guy who claims himself as a dependent.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I’m pretty sure Sean Hannity is one (Twenty days late! I’m glad he’s not an EMT)

February 2023

As the transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, finally visited the site of the devastating toxic train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio, nearly three weeks after the disaster. Twenty days late! I’m glad he’s not an EMT.” —Stephen Colbert

“And it looks like Buttigieg knows he acted slowly, as the transportation secretary admitted to reporters that he ‘could have spoken out sooner’.  Adding, ‘And I would’ve been here earlier but traffic was a mess, trains are a disaster, all the flights were cancelled – someone should really deal with this country’s transportation!’” —Stephen Colbert

“Fox News, it’s important to give them their props when they deserve it. And here’s the thing: it’s a 24-hour news channel, and that can be hard to fill. We salute their ability to just invent outrage out of absolutely nothing on a slow news day. This week, the network dug down deep, tossed aside any last scraps of journalistic integrity, and yanked out a new dumb thing to pretend to be mad at. And because I also need something to talk about every night, I’m going to pretend to be mad at them for pretending to be mad about it. The latest invented controversy? New Lego characters with different skin tones, limb differences and disabilities, or as Fox News put it: ‘Lego is going woke!’ I don’t know why Fox is so upset about seeing representation in Legos. After all, I’m pretty sure Sean Hannity is one.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The apple can fall from the tree and land in a billionaire wine cave (they actually get 72 raisins)

"The good news for al-Zarqawi is according to Islamic law, he does get 72 virgins. The bad news is they're all William Hung. Actually there is some disagreement among those who study the Koran about whether so-called martyrs get 72 virgins. Many say it is a mistranslation and they actually get 72 raisins." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The Dow fell 504 points yesterday. I'll be honest, I have no idea what that means, but apparently it's really bad. On Wall Street they were calling it Black Monday. And John McCain was quick to point out it was Black Monday, not Old White Monday." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Cheney sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He encouraged his supporters to take care of voting early before it becomes a problem (Grandma’s under 3o)

December 2022

The Georgia senate runoff set records for early voting. Hershel Walker has always encouraged his supporters to take care of voting early before it becomes a problem. —Colin Jost

There is growing support to move the first Democratic primary from Iowa to South Carolina, but why move it to another boring state? Start the primaries with a bang in Florida. Right? Instead of watching a politician eat a corndog at the Iowa State Fair, imagine Pete Buttigieg smoking meth shirtless at Gatorland as he battles for the state’s key demographic. Grandma’s under 3o. You know, at the end of the day, Florida may not give us FDR or JFK, but it will definitely give us HPV. —Colin Jost

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have reached a settlement in their divorce, and I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that she had an easier time finding a good lawyer. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But when he gets Mitch McConnell pregnant with another secret baby? It’ll be all worth it! (If it was about babies...)

November 2022

“We can celebrate that the Democrats will keep control of the Senate. But remember, if Republicans take control of the House, then every dream the Democrats have of codifying Roe v Wade or taxing the rich or turning Pete Buttigieg into a real boy – they can’t do it. I mean, they probably weren’t going to do it anyway, but now they have someone to blame.” —Trevor Noah

“Still, though Democrats no longer need Raphael Warnock’s victory over Herschel Walker in Georgia, it would give them an extra cushion for when Joe Manchin tries to cockblock them, or Kyrsten Sinema goes rogue, or Bernie Sanders misses a vote because he’s arguing with a grocery store manager.” —Trevor Noah

“But can we just admit, now that the stakes are a little lower, you kinda want to see what Herschel Walker would be like as a senator. I’m not saying they should, and I’m not saying it would be good for Georgia or the country, but when he gets Mitch McConnell pregnant with another secret baby? It’ll be all worth it!” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This machine maintains the status quo (A Dick for All Seasons)

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced he will star in a low-budget horror movie called 'The Toxic Avenger.' He wreaks havoc. He's a monster. I have no idea what he'll do in the movie." –Craig Ferguson

"Dick Cheney has a new book coming out August 30. It doesn't have a title yet, Might I suggest a few. 'How to Shoot Friends and Influence People,' 'A Dick for All Seasons,' 'Torture in the Rye'..." –Craig Ferguson

"You can use genealogy to trace your ancestors now. In 100 years, scientists will be able to tell that three quarters of all Americans are descended directly from Arnold Schwarzenegger." –Craig Ferguson

"It's not an exaggeration to say that Oprah has touched millions of women around the world, but unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, she didn't leave them pregnant." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he has almost enough weapons training to work as a school teacher (she's just not that into you)

Trump’s bodyguard has a lot of experience in his field. He served in the U.S. Navy and the New York City police department, so according to Trump, he has almost enough weapons training to work as a school teacher. --James Corden

This is just like a romantic comedy. The man was like, “I'm just a hijacker, standing in front of his hostages, asking them to deliver this letter to my ex.” This guy was really feeling bad about his breakup. Cops knew he wasn't your average terrorist when a list of his demands included sweat pants, ice cream, and an Adele CD. I feel sorry for this guy. I feel like I want to give him some advice and say to him, “If you have to hijack a plane, she's just not that into you.” –James Corden

Yesterday on Fox & Friends, host Peter Hegseth made a rather unusual admission on air. Hegseth, “I don’t think I have washed my hands in ten years. Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them, therefore they are not real.” He hasn’t washed his hands in ten years? Now this is ironic, because every time I watch Fox News I need to take a shower. It’s a pretty shocking revelation but that does explain why the show Fox & Friends will be changing its name to Smallpox & Friends. --James Corden

Chris Christie was the focus of a shaming campaign after a fan at a basketball game photographed him seemingly pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms. I guarantee you Chris Christie did not know the score of that basketball game. Are we really shocked Chris Christie is eating M&Ms? The man endorsed Trump. He sucks at making healthy decisions. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”