They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox (excited to finally try marijuana)

"Last night Occupy Wall Street protesters were removed by Cesarean. The Founding Fathers never intended indefinite free speech. They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox." –Stephen Colbert

“The first licences for recreational marijuana have also finally been produced in New York. New Yorkers are gonna be so excited to finally try marijuana.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox (poor people, get prepared to be trickled down on)

"Wall Street hands out new bonuses. Poor people, get prepared to be trickled down on." –Stephen Colbert

"Last night Occupy Wall Street protesters were removed by Cesarean. The Founding Fathers never intended indefinite free speech. They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s like getting confronted about your drinking by Rudy Giuliani (I’m pretty sure he has bigpox)

A new book revealed that the ex-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell wanted to hire operatives with “hunting licenses” to take Dominion voting machines since they are obviously “all guarded by elk”, a plan that even Rudy Giuliani nixed. Do you know how crazy you have to be for the voice of reason to be Rudy Giuliani? That’s like getting confronted about your drinking by Rudy Giuliani. —Stephen Colbert

The predictability of Trump and his cronies who start fearmongering about immigration whenever an election is on the horizon. Whenever the ex-president starts, rightwing media obediently follows his cue showing footage of the “caravan” of immigrants that was screamed about before the 2018 midterms with Fox correspondents spreading fear about possible diseases. As far as Trump goes, forget smallpox, I’m pretty sure he has bigpox. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox (You know she’s just going to blow it on ‘Nip)

GOP congressman Kevin McCarthy told CNBC, “You’ve got to remember where Nancy Pelosi was - she who said no money for a wall. That’s not the case. Democrats have now agreed to more than 55 miles of new barrier being built.” Yes, 55 of the 2,000 miles of Border Wall that Trump asked for. Just another example of Trump’s slogan, “Promises Made, Promises 3% Kept.” --Stephen Colbert

After the death of Karl Lagerfeld, his internet famous cat, Choupette is set to inherit Lagerfeld’s $150 Million Pound fortune. It’s so irresponsible to give a cat that much money. You know she’s just going to blow it on ‘Nip. --Stephen Colbert

"Last night Occupy Wall Street protesters were removed by Cesarean. The Founding Fathers never intended indefinite free speech. They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by smallpox." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he doesn't look like the kind of guy who wins a lot of races (Smallpox & Friends)

Yesterday on Fox & Friends, host Peter Hegseth made a rather unusual admission on air. Hegseth, “I don’t think I have washed my hands in ten years. Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them, therefore they are not real.” He hasn’t washed his hands in ten years? Now this is ironic, because every time I watch Fox News I need to take a shower. It’s a pretty shocking revelation but that does explain why the show Fox & Friends will be changing its name to Smallpox & Friends. --James Corden

“All Trump’s lawyers have been terrible. I mean first Giuliani, now these guys. Trump is really bad at picking an effective lawyer, which I chalk up as great news for Melania.” —James Corden

A tech company has launched an app that aims to help ranchers find the perfect breeding partner for their cattle. It’s basically Tinder for livestock. Yeah, I know. You thought regular Tinder was a meat market. --James Corden

After last night's New Hampshire primary it looks like Chris Christie is out, which isn't surprising — he doesn't look like the kind of guy who wins a lot of races. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Should students learn why he wasn't allowed to play? (the aircraft carrier the U.S.S. Metaphor)

Several days ago, President Trump said an American aircraft carrier was heading towards North Korea, but it turns out it was sailing in the opposite direction. It’s the aircraft carrier the U.S.S. Metaphor. –Conan O’Brien

Amherst College has decided to get rid of its mascot, Lord Jeff, because Jeffery Amherst famously gave smallpox-infected blankets to Native Americans. Amherst’s new mascot is Chipotle. –Conan O’Brien

Today, President Trump signed an executive order authorizing the building of the border wall. It’s guaranteed to keep out all Mexicans unless they get their hands on a ladder or a shovel. –Conan O’Brien

"Chris Christie is getting a lot of support from New Jersey's Hispanic community. Some Hispanics like his moderate conservatism while others believe if you hit him he'll break open and spill out candy." –Conan O'Brien

President Trump announced he will nominate a new Supreme Court Justice sometime next week. Trump said, “I just need a few more days to come up with someone completely unqualified.” –Conan O’Brien

"Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis says Governor Chris Christie canceled a position for him when he did something Christie didn't like. When asked what he did, Lewis said 'a sit-up.'" –Conan O'Brien

"In anticipation of the Winter Olympics, a female curling champion released some sexy photos of herself curling in lingerie. When asked for comment, Americans said they're still not going to watch curling." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he has almost enough weapons training to work as a school teacher (she's just not that into you)

Trump’s bodyguard has a lot of experience in his field. He served in the U.S. Navy and the New York City police department, so according to Trump, he has almost enough weapons training to work as a school teacher. --James Corden

This is just like a romantic comedy. The man was like, “I'm just a hijacker, standing in front of his hostages, asking them to deliver this letter to my ex.” This guy was really feeling bad about his breakup. Cops knew he wasn't your average terrorist when a list of his demands included sweat pants, ice cream, and an Adele CD. I feel sorry for this guy. I feel like I want to give him some advice and say to him, “If you have to hijack a plane, she's just not that into you.” –James Corden

Yesterday on Fox & Friends, host Peter Hegseth made a rather unusual admission on air. Hegseth, “I don’t think I have washed my hands in ten years. Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them, therefore they are not real.” He hasn’t washed his hands in ten years? Now this is ironic, because every time I watch Fox News I need to take a shower. It’s a pretty shocking revelation but that does explain why the show Fox & Friends will be changing its name to Smallpox & Friends. --James Corden

Chris Christie was the focus of a shaming campaign after a fan at a basketball game photographed him seemingly pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms. I guarantee you Chris Christie did not know the score of that basketball game. Are we really shocked Chris Christie is eating M&Ms? The man endorsed Trump. He sucks at making healthy decisions. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In other words, she’s still got it (Houston, we have a drinking problem)

Engineers have begun trying to find a way to brew beer on the moon. Which

means we’ll soon have astronauts calling into Mission Control saying, “Houston,

we have a drinking problem.” –Conan O’Brien

Critics are calling Sarah Palin’s endorsement speech of Donald Trump "bizarre," "meandering," and "mystifying." In other words, she’s still got it. –Conan O’Brien

"We need rain. Governor Jerry Brown has declared California to be in a state of drought emergency. So ladies, when I ask you to take a shower with me, I'm just trying to conserve water." –Conan O'Brien

Today, President Trump signed an executive order authorizing the building of the border wall. It’s guaranteed to keep out all Mexicans unless they get their hands on a ladder or a shovel. –Conan O’Brien

Amherst College has decided to get rid of its mascot, Lord Jeff, because Jeffery Amherst famously gave smallpox-infected blankets to Native Americans. Amherst’s new mascot is Chipotle. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

The philosophical musings of the man who has everything (The variants are coming! The variants are coming!)

September 2021

“On Thursday, President Biden announced new vaccine requirements for federal employees and contractors, health care workers and those working at companies with more than 100 employees. This really does feel like when your dad stops threatening and actually does turn the car around.” —James Corden

“Biden said it’s time to stop horsing around — and then he was like, ‘No, seriously, stop taking horse medicine.’” —James Corden

“But you know, there’s a reason pandemic movies end when the hero finds the cure for the disease. There’s no ‘Contagion’ sequel with Matt Damon running around trying to convince everyone to take the vaccine — they just take the vaccine. And thank God, by the way — he sucks. We don’t need more movies with him.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Vaccine mandates have a proud history in this country. During a smallpox outbreak in 1777, George Washington required his troops to be immunized. And who can forget the immortal words of Paul Revere: ‘One if by J.&J., two if by Pfizer. The variants are coming! The variants are coming!’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You thought regular Tinder was a meat market (Smallpox & Friends)

President Trump took to Twitter to make an important policy announcement. I’m kidding, he never does that. Trump went on Twitter to brag that no president has ever worked harder than him. He might be right, the entire time he was president, Abraham Lincoln didn’t tweet once. But you try running a country while simultaneously paying off porn stars, mounting defenses for multiple federal investigations and teaching your vice president how to smile like a human being. That will wear you out. It’s exhausting work. --James Corden

Yesterday on Fox & Friends, host Peter Hegseth made a rather unusual admission on air. Hegseth, “I don’t think I have washed my hands in ten years. Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them, therefore they are not real.” He hasn’t washed his hands in ten years? Now this is ironic, because every time I watch Fox News I need to take a shower. It’s a pretty shocking revelation but that does explain why the show Fox & Friends will be changing its name to Smallpox & Friends. --James Corden

A tech company has launched an app that aims to help ranchers find the perfect breeding partner for their cattle. It’s basically Tinder for livestock. Yeah, I know. You thought regular Tinder was a meat market. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

A rare white giraffe has been spotted in Africa

A rare white giraffe has been spotted in Africa. The white giraffe was immediately captured and nominated for an Oscar. –Conan O’Brien

Amherst College has decided to get rid of its mascot, Lord Jeff, because Jeffery Amherst famously gave smallpox-infected blankets to Native Americans. Amherst’s new mascot is Chipotle. –Conan O’Brien

In Alabama, a dog completed a half marathon. After being congratulated the dog said, "What the hell are you talking about? I was chasing a car." –Conan O’Brien