Which makes sense because Romney defines 'life' as anybody making over 250,000 dollars a year (Oh, please, we made one vice president)

Saudi Arabia yesterday became the first country in the world to grant citizenship to a robot. Oh, please, we made one vice president. –Seth Meyers

"On this day in 1912, President Teddy Roosevelt was shot, declined to go to the hospital, and gave a 90-minute speech with a bullet in his chest. Then on this day in 2012, I spent the whole day on WebMD because my eyelid wouldn't stop twitching." –Seth Meyers

"In an interview Wednesday Mitt Romney, who had previously stated he would not introduce legislation limiting abortion, vowed that he would still be a 'pro-life president.' Which makes sense because Romney defines 'life' as anybody making over 250,000 dollars a year." –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it doesn't compare to the cocaine their grandma used to make (Operation Baby was a success)

April 2023

“You could tell Fox was stressed about the trial ‘cause they spent the day chugging Bud Light.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today, a toddler crawled through the fencing outside the White House. At first, the Secret Service just thought it was Pete Buttigieg. I mean, we're laughing, but when it happened, one guy was like, [Russian accent] ‘Operation Baby was a success.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Some more news from Washington. George Santos just announced that he is running for re-election. And then a minute later, he announced that he won.” —Jimmy Fallon

“I saw that nearly half a billion dollars worth of cocaine was just found floating off the coast of Italy. It's Italian cocaine, so you just sprinkle it over your pasta. Of course, everyone's talking about how it doesn't compare to the cocaine their grandma used to make.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which, from the looks of him, might be a life sentence (Unfortunately, they are all from the Quidditch team)

November 2021

Ex-Trump advisor Steve Bannon, seen here moments after shooting out of a sewage pipe, was indicted this week for contempt of congress. If convicted, Bannon faces up to two years in prison. Which, from the looks of him, might be a life sentence. —Colin Jost

Cambridge University in England has released a new calendar featuring student athletes naked. Unfortunately, they are all from the Quidditch team. —Colin Jost

Bud Light is releasing a carbonated eggnog-flavored drink called Seltzer Nog. If you want a preview of the taste, throw up in your mouth. —Colin Jost

In an effort to end his long standing feud with Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel posted an open letter on Instagram. Of course for Vin Diesel, an open letter is just a C. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's crazy. 30 seconds only costs me $130,000 (Bernie Sanders Report card)

I do, I love the Super Bowl. Every year, I watch the game on a 100-inch TV, until the Best Buy manager says, "Sir, we need you to leave." --Jimmy Fallon

I saw that, on Sunday, a 30-second ad costs $5 million. Yeah, but it will be worth it when people are watching, like, "Oh, yeah, I totally forgot about Amazon, Bud Light, and Google." That's right, $5 million for 30 seconds. The president said, "That's crazy. 30 seconds only costs me $130,000." --Jimmy Fallon

Finally, I heard about a man in Arizona who just set a world record by stacking 353 Jenga blocks. Fallon as Trump: "Maybe he can build a wall." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Ma’am, you were out there for 45 minutes (three Manhattans and a Bud Light)

President Trump last night made his first visit to Manhattan since his inauguration. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton visited three Manhattans and a Bud Light. –Seth Meyers

An Alabama woman missing for nearly a month said she was able to survive in the woods on mushrooms. Said officials, “Ma’am, you were out there for 45 minutes.” –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems