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Showing posts with label DOGE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DOGE. Show all posts

Saturday, May 31, 2025

He says he wants to spend more time with his 27 families (give those Wuhan guys some gloves)


After completing his 180 day mission at Doge Elon Musk is leaving the Trump administration. He says he wants to spend more time with his 27 families. —Greg Gutfeld


Mayor Pete said he wishes you could go back in time and open the schools in 2020. Dude, if you could time travel why not go back to 2018 and give those Wuhan guys some gloves. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Monday, May 5, 2025

gang signs (pulled out a little too late)


Elon Musk announced that he will step back from his role with DOGE. But as always, Elon pulled out a little too late. —Michael Che

It was reported that the Homeland Security Department has created a method to assess tattoos and determine if they are gang signs. The way it works is they check to see if the tattoo is on brown skin. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Saturday, April 12, 2025

They stepped in and fixed it in 70 minutes (If the workers take a notion/English translation)


This week Doge perfectly exposed government bureaucracy in a nutshell. While working on the IRS website Doge noticed the site's login button wasn’t in the top right like most websites. It's a small thing but Doge noted it was weirdly placed in the middle of the page. So Doge wanted to move it to the right spot but an IRS engineer said the soonest they could do that was July 21st, over a 100 days from now. 


So what did Doge do? They stepped in and fixed it in 70 minutes. Here's how it looks now. See there it is. They moved it from the middle to the top. It's a small thing, but the government would have needed a hundred days to do it. To go from there to there. So imagine how long it takes for them to do stuff that actually requires more effort.


This is how the government works. Hey Steve, can we change the website a little? No problem Joe. I'll have to submit a work order for that which requires approval from the boss. And then we'll circle back at the monthly meeting for the next round of approvals. Then we'll hire a contractor to hire a subcontractor that will hire a teenager to make the change. Total cost of John Q taxpayer? 60 billion dollars. 


But when it's no longer on the taxpayers's dime it gets done in minutes. See this is why you need Elon and Doge. A government website shouldn't be harder than translating Jasmine Crockett into English. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Which makes you wonder how many Gerber models go on disability? (these numbers are staggering)


And this week Doge uncovered millions of taxpayer dollars in unemployment insurance claims for people who haven’t been born yet, people over the age of of 115, and even even children between the ages of 1 and five. Which makes you wonder how many Gerber models go on disability? —Greg Gutfeld


I got to say after watching Doge surface these crazy numbers, I'm glad I pay my pool boys under the table.  That's where they end up. That's where they nap, you sick people. Now these could be application errors but all of them? No, like Kamala Harris leaving happy hour, these numbers are staggering. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”




 

Wow, even they don’t want to see Snow White (Leave my future wife out of this)


Doge says that millions of dollars in unemployment claims have gone to people who aren't even born yet. "Leave my future wife out of this," said Leonardo DiCaprio. —Greg Gutfeld


China is threatening to block Hollywood movies in retaliation to Trump's tariffs. Wow, even they don’t want to see Snow White. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Friday, April 11, 2025

Boeing built this in a hurry (they only broke even)


In other news, Elon Musk and the department of government efficiency (Doge) are reportedly working with Boeing to resolve delays in the new model of Air Force One. Because nothing inspires confidence like hearing ‘Boeing built this in a hurry.’ —Seth Meyers


On Friday, Trump headlined a fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago that cost $1 million a plate. Unfortunately, due to the price of groceries, they only broke even. —Seth Meyers


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Thursday, April 10, 2025

If you can't contain El Chapo then your opinions are El Crapo (Like using a robot to feed live mice to The View)


So what's the primary mechanism of political survival? For most politicians it’s kicking the can down the road. They know never to deal with a problem when it arises because action always involves risk. So instead they offer platitudes. Instead of solutions hoping the status quo gets them reelected until it's time of course to cash in and become a lobbyist. But today we have a leader who's kicking nothing down the road. Instead, Donald Trump sees the can picks it up and crushes it with his bare hands. Think about it, DOGE, trade, deporting gangs, men and women's sports, getting Rosie O'Donnell on a plane to Ireland. —Greg Gutfeld


According to NBC News the Trump administration is considering taking out drug cartels with drone strikes. Drones on cartels, it's a modern solution to a modern problem. Like using a robot to feed live mice to The View. And even your hands are safe. —Greg Gutfeld


Mexico's president says bombing cartels won't address the root of the issue. Really? Doesn't wiping out the dudes who sling these drugs address the root issue? If you can't contain El Chapo then your opinions are El Crapo. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Wednesday, April 9, 2025

I don't even bother to take them out of my g-string after a show (How about we vote on it?)


Federal inspectors announced they recalled nearly 23,000 pounds of cheddar bratwurst. But it was an easy recall because it was all in JB Pritzker’s fridge. —Greg Gutfeld 


So how about those ‘hands off’ protests? Cute title right. It sounds like something written on Joy Behar's lunchbox at work. —Greg Gutfeld


Doge was designed to actually help the people who are protesting. Doge's actual goal preventing a full-blown economic collapse, the kind where the US dollar becomes so worthless I don't even bother to take them out of my g-string after a show. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

In fact he’s had to take a second shift at the Keebler factory (two people didn't want to miss work)


The DNC has assembled a group of so-called experts to fight Trump's agenda calling it the people's cabinet. 4 foot 11 inch Robert Reich is a member, because he could fit in the cabinet. Reich said Trump's policies will devastate the job market. In fact he’s had to take a second shift at the Keebler factory. —Greg Gutfeld


Protests were held nationwide this weekend against Doge, Trump and Musk. They held it on the weekend because two people didn't want to miss work. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Tuesday, April 1, 2025

She's even been contacted by Bill Clinton about an internship (Nancy Pelosi was seen fleeing the country)


A California woman with the world's longest tongue says being a Guinness record holder has provided her with career opportunities. She's even been contacted by Bill Clinton about an internship. —Greg Gutfeld


Elon Musk said Doge's next target will be members of Congress who got strangely wealthy. Upon hearing the news Nancy Pelosi was seen fleeing the country. —Greg Gutfeld


In a New York Times essay Hillary Clinton calls the Trump administration dumb over the Signal chat leak. She added quote "If it were me they would have already found Mike Waltz dead in a prison cell." —Greg Gutfeld


A new study says masturbation can improve the quality of sleep and furthermore … Zzzzzzzzzzz. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Friday, March 28, 2025

Crap did I have another one? (She has a name!)


So on Wednesday the Secret Service removed a child from the White House lawn after he slipped through the fence. Crap did I have another one, said Elon Musk. —Greg Gutfeld


At the DOGE hearing on funding PBS, Democrat Greg Casar asked if Miss Piggy has ever been caught trying to funnel billions in government contracts to herself and her companies. Viewers were offended he would use such a slur against Stacey Abrams. She has a name! —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Wednesday, March 26, 2025

To be hopeful in bad times (in a related story Kamala Harris just moved to Nevada)


Hillary Clinton weighed in on the signal story saying ‘you got to be kidding me,’ then she offered Pete Hegseth her hammer to smash his phone. —Greg Gutfeld

The Nevada legislature is considering a bill that would allow home delivery for cocktails. Yeah, in a related story Kamala Harris just moved to Nevada. —Greg Gutfeld


DOGE just discovered that the Small Business Association gave a 9-month-old baby a $100,000 loan. Now the kid's so worried he won't make the payments he sh*t his pants. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Saturday, March 15, 2025

Wow that's almost a third (emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo)


The Trump Administration said 50% of the Department of Education staff will be eliminated, shocking the staff who exclaimed exclaimed, ‘Wow that's almost a third.’ —Greg Gutfeld


So as DOGE shines the light, the roaches run in fright. This week a senior official at USAID ordered her troops, or what's left of them, to destroy all their documents at the Ronald Reagan Building in DC. That way their files will be emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo. —Greg Gutfeld

The high school runner who hit her opponent on the head with a baton faces assault and battery charges, but claims it was all an accident. She actually meant to shoot her. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Friday, March 14, 2025

now we have the receipts for the condoms to prove it (lower than Rosie O’Donnell’s testicles)


Thanks to DOGE, we always knew they were screwing us now we have the receipts for the condoms to prove it. —Greg Gutfeld


The media is pushing the myth that Elon Musk is in it for himself. Have you seen Tesla's stock lately? It's lower than Rosie O’Donnell’s testicles. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Oh you're going to hate being married (Michael Moore in a damp Mu Mu)


Some federal workers are upset about Elon Musk’s request to list 5 things they did at work. Okay so an email that asks you what you did at work is terrifying. Oh you're going to hate being married. —Greg Gutfeld


Elon Musk says DOGE is completely transparent. Of course too much transparency can suck, like if you come across Michael Moore in a damp Mu Mu. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Thursday, February 20, 2025

The stains (next of kin)


At a recent pressor President Trump started listing the most insane examples of government spending. The most egregious one of course was the six figures spent to have Jerry Nadler's pants let out. It still didn't work. The stains. —Greg Gutfeld

Australian Wildlife officials have decided to euthanize dozens of whales that were stranded on a beach. And today in fact, they had the difficult task of informing the whales next of kin on The View. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 


 

They claimed she did that by not becoming president (angry Democrats are calling it a d*ck move)


Saturday night Kamala Harris will receive an NAACP image award for helping out people of color. They claimed she did that by not becoming president. —Greg Gutfeld 

DOGE has stopped $10 million in US tax money from going to Africa to fund male circumcisions. Not surprisingly, angry Democrats are calling it a dick move. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Which cheeks asked Bill Clinton? (noises coming from inside the trunk of his car)


The sports governing body known as the World Athletics is hiring staff to swab the cheeks of female athletes to make sure they are not trans. Which cheeks asked Bill Clinton? —Greg Gutfeld


Watching the Democrats react to DOGE is like watching a mobster plead with a cop to ignore the kicking noises coming from inside the trunk of his car. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Where the workers set the rules (Also plummeting 90%, sales of El Caminos)


Illegal border crossings have plummeted 90% since Trump returned to the White House. Also plummeting 90%, sales of El Caminos. —Greg Gutfeld


Hillary Clinton criticized Elon Musk and DOGE for hiring a 22-year-old to review the FAA. She's just mad because the last time someone hired a 22-year-old she banged her husband. —Greg Gutfeld


Frontier Airlines may actually merge with Spirit Air. Their new name, Greyhound. —Greg Gutfeld


Katie Couric said that covering Donald Trump is really hard, and that’s the first time that really hard and Katie Couric have been used in the same sentence. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”