a claim that was recently disproven by wind (Plus, he’s the state fruit)

Presidential hopeful Donald Trump said yesterday that he has better hair than Senator Marco Rubio — a claim that was recently disproven by wind. –Seth Meyers

President Trump will speak in Miami tomorrow. He’ll be comfortable, because he still has strong support in Florida. Plus, he’s the state fruit. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What happened to the last guy? (Free Bird)

"Dick Cheney says he gives Obama high marks on getting bin Laden. He said, 'Trust me, I know how hard it is to shoot someone in the face.'" –Conan O'Brien

"President Obama canceled the White House Halloween party. He canceled after hearing Joe Biden was coming as 'Slutty Joe Biden.'" –Conan O'Brien 10/31/2012

"Al-Qaida has not yet picked a new leader to run their terrorist organization. Apparently, candidates keep losing interest after asking, 'What happened to the last guy?'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I know someone twice as good! Every night he has two dreams! (Favorite Nursery Rhyme?)

Ahead of next week’s vice-presidential debate, the transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, has reportedly been playing the Ohio senator JD Vance in debate prep sessions. He’s been getting into character by looking in the mirror each morning and telling himself that he’s going to hell. —Seth Meyers    

A cat that went missing during their owners’ trip to Yellowstone national park was found in California, more than 900 miles away. That story is pretty unbelievable. Who brings their cat on vacation?! —Seth Meyers  

Donald Trump endorsed Mark Robinson, the scandal-plagued Republican candidate for governor of North Carolina. In multiple appearances, Trump praised Robinson, who is Black, saying: “I’ve gotten to know him so well.” He also described Robinson as a “fine wine”, “Martin Luther King on steroids” and “Martin Luther King times two”.  Trump is really truly amazing. Everyone agrees Martin Luther King is a great person, but only Trump would say ‘I know someone twice as good! Every night he has two dreams!’ —Seth Meyers   

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They have a better track record on women's issues (All the original artists!)

Apparently, members were up until 4:00 a.m., which might explain why things got a little loopy. Like these late night musings from Rep. Jason Smith: “You could tax a lot of different items if you want to stop behavior. You know, I love ice cream. Ice cream is probably not the healthiest thing to eat. Why is there not a tax on that? You know what, if you look at the No. 1 cause of skin cancer, it is not tanning beds. Do a Google search: It is the sun. Why have they not proposed a tax on the sun?” So if you’re worried about losing your healthcare, don’t worry! It’s safely in the hands of the guy who’s up all night googling “why don’t we tax the sun?” –Stephen Colbert

These investigations come on top of all the other investigations that are going on. Trump is currently being looked into by the special counsel, The US Attorney for the Southern District of New York, The FBI, The Marshall Tucker Band, The House Committee on Oversight and Reform, Molly Hatchet, The House Committee on Ways and Means, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The House Intelligence Committee, The Allman Brothers, the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, and many more! All the original artists! --Stephen Colbert

"The Army is pulling out of Rush Limbaugh. Meanwhile, they're staying in Afghanistan to negotiate with the Taliban, who evidently have a better track record on women's issues." –Stephen Colbert, on the U.S. Army pulling ads from Rush Limbaugh's radio show

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

because kids know a raisin house when they see one (Marlboro Reds in Florida)

The Bidens hosted neighborhood families for trick-or-treating. They didn’t get that many visitors, though, because kids know a raisin house when they see one. —Seth Meyers

For the holiday, Candystore.com released a list of the most popular candy in the country, including Sour Patch Kids in New York, Butterfinger in Massachusetts and Marlboro Reds in Florida. —Seth Meyers

The rock bands Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top announced their upcoming tours on Monday, and if you’re excited about this news, you’re due for a colonoscopy. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

There’s a reason they call it Palm Beach (The state of our uniom is strug!)

These investigations come on top of all the other investigations that are going on. Trump is currently being looked into by the special counsel, The US Attorney for the Southern District of New York, The FBI, The Marshall Tucker Band, The House Committee on Oversight and Reform, Molly Hatchet, The House Committee on Ways and Means, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The House Intelligence Committee, The Allman Brothers, the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, and many more! All the original artists! --Stephen Colbert

Robert Kraft was in a Florida massage parlor, where he was caught on camera getting a, let’s say “hand employment.” So, once again, the Patriots are embroiled in a scandal involving deflated balls. We shouldn’t be surprised. There’s a reason they call it Palm Beach. --Stephen Colbert

"The Army is pulling out of Rush Limbaugh. Meanwhile, they're staying in Afghanistan to negotiate with the Taliban, who evidently have a better track record on women's issues." –Stephen Colbert, on the U.S. Army pulling ads from Rush Limbaugh's radio show

The Trump administration wants to showcase what the country is like now that Republicans are in charge of everything. And they may have done just that, because they sent out these actual tickets to see the State of the Uniom. Now they’re reprinting the tickets, and they’re going to recall the old ones — which could be tough, because I’ve seen members of the Trump administration testify, and they can’t recall ANYTHING. But maybe, just maybe, it’s not a typo. He said he would change things. Maybe tomorrow WILL be the first State of the Uniom. “My fellow Anericams: With Doland Trunk as your predisent, every mang, woban, and chilm will know: The state of our uniom is strug!” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A third of Americans are now half of Americans (Pine-sol now comes in prescription strength)

People are going outside again. Americans, they want to do the right thing but if someone taps a keg and cranks up the Lynyrd Skynyrd all bets are off. —Bill Maher

But you can't blame people for wanting to get out there. The Census Bureau is now reporting that a third of Americans are showing signs of anxiety and clinical depression and they've gained weight. A third of Americans are now half of Americans. —Bill Maher

Our governor says we’ll know in a week if we can reopen our gyms and I hope that this is the case. Because Californians, we miss our gyms. Not to work out so much the staring at yourself in the mirror part. —Bill Maher

Donald Trump has said he has quit taking hydroxychloroquine. But there’s no word on whether he’s going to give up the idea to imbibe household disinfectants. I tell you something, his fans haven’t. Pine-sol now comes in prescription strength. —Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Call Me The Breeze - 4/27/1975 - Winterland

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird - 7/2/1977 - Oakland Coliseum Stadium

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

First hint? They found it in a tomb (We all assume he failed everything)

These investigations come on top of all the other investigations that are going on. Trump is currently being looked into by the special counsel, The US Attorney for the Southern District of New York, The FBI, The Marshall Tucker Band, The House Committee on Oversight and Reform, Molly Hatchet, The House Committee on Ways and Means, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The House Intelligence Committee, The Allman Brothers, the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, and many more! All the original artists! --Stephen Colbert

Archaeologists have uncovered an elixir of immortality in a 2000 year old Chinese tomb. Though, I do have suspicions this elixir of immortality may not work. First hint? They found it in a tomb. --Stephen Colbert

Last week Michael Cohen told congress that Trump ordered him to threaten his high school to never release his grades. What could he possibly be hiding? We all assume he failed everything. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”