we must consider the possibility that I do weigh 239 pounds (I'm worried I will never be sober again)

Audience, I’m worried that once they make self-driving cars, I will

never be sober again. --Stephen Colbert

Today the president also pardoned Saudi Arabia. The CIA is

preparing a report that is expected to tie the brutal murder of

journalist Jamal Khashoggi to crown prince Mohammed bin

Salman, but the president got out in front of the CIA today and

released a statement on Khashoggi’s killing.

It starts out with a calm reassuring message: “The world is a very

dangerous place!” It is now! Apparently you can kill a Washington

Post journalist and the president don’t give a damn, because Trump’s

official presidential decision on who is a resolute, “I dunno.”

Trump wrote, “Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all

information, but it could very well be that the crown prince had

knowledge of this tragic event. Maybe he did, and maybe he didn’t!”

Did Donald Trump just knowingly provide cover for a murderous

autocrat? Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Someone wrote that

down. Someone actually typed that -- “Maybe he did. Maybe he

didn’t.”

That statement informs us in no way. A Magic Eight Ball would have

taken a firmer stance. Colbert as Trump, “Look things are not

knowable. We live in a quantum state of flux, where time and matter

coexist in interdimensional plasma in which all possible pasts and

futures simultaneously manifest on the space-time continuum. And

in that infinite multi-verse of non-congruent para-data, we must

consider the possibility that I do weigh 239 pounds.”

--Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How dare you embarrass a man who had a columnist sawed into pieces? (Doing their best to make sure it doesn’t happen again)

“How dare you embarrass a man who had a columnist sawed into pieces?” — Jimmy Kimmel on President Trump’s angry reaction to a reporter who asked his guest, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia, about U.S. intelligence agencies’ conclusion that he ordered the murder of a journalist

“The crown prince did address the murder. He said, ‘We’ve improved our system to be sure that nothing happened like that. It’s painful and it’s a huge mistake and we’re doing our best that this doesn’t happen again.’ Doing their best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. This is not what you say about a murder. This is what the manager of Jersey Mike’s says when they accidentally put pepperoni on your tuna sandwich.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A Magic Eight Ball would have taken a firmer stance (One Bedroom, Zero Bath Starter Tent)

Today the president also pardoned Saudi Arabia. The CIA is preparing a report that is expected to tie the brutal murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi to crown prince Mohammed bin Salman, but the president got out in front of the CIA today and released a statement on Khashoggi’s killing.

It starts out with a calm reassuring message: “The world is a very dangerous place!” It is now! Apparently you can kill a Washington Post journalist and the president don’t give a damn, because Trump’s official presidential decision on who is a resolute, “I dunno.” Trump wrote, “Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all information, but it could very well be that the crown prince had knowledge of this tragic event. Maybe he did, and maybe he didn’t!”

Did Donald Trump just knowingly provide cover for a murderous autocrat? Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Someone wrote that down. Someone actually typed that -- “Maybe he did. Maybe he didn’t.” That statement informs us in no way. A Magic Eight Ball would have taken a firmer stance.

Colbert as Trump, “Look things are not knowable. We live in a quantum state of flux, where time and matter coexist in  interdimensional plasma in which all possible pasts and futures simultaneously manifest on the space-time continuum. And in that infinite multi-verse of non-congruent para-data, we must consider the possibility that I do weigh 239 pounds.” --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

a fist bump makes it look like he just hit a home run in the company softball game (and … BOOM go the ethics)

July 2022

“Meanwhile, Joe Biden toured the Middle East and met with Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, whom Biden once referred to as a ‘pariah’ for his role in the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi in 2018. This was always going to be a touchy trip because the crown prince is infamously, and I’m putting it delicately here, a murderer. But on the other hand, gas is $5 a gallon, so …” —Stephen Colbert

“It was important that Biden put a lot of thought into how he would greet MBS. Biden opted for a fist bump instead of the standard handshake, and … boom go the ethics.” —Stephen Colbert

“Now, I know you did that because you didn’t want to be seen shaking his hand, but a fist bump is way worse. At least with a handshake you might think, ‘Well, it’s two world leaders, like it or not, but that’s standard enough.’ But a fist bump makes it look like he just hit a home run in the company softball game.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He should have gone in for the handshake and then given him the ‘Psych!’ (Promise vs Reality)

July 2022

President Biden’s fist bump with Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia raised eyebrows over the weekend. America obsesses about these things: ‘No, don’t look too friendly.’ It’s also funny how President Biden thought it would be better to fist bump Mohammed bin Salman because that seems less friendly than a handshake. That’s the whitest decision of all time.” —Trevor Noah

“You know what Biden should have done if he didn’t want controversy in this? He should have gone in for the handshake and then given him the ‘Psych!’” —Trevor Noah

“You know what I really think happened? I think Joe Biden’s team briefed him and they were like, ‘Mr. President, in Saudi Arabia, if you make them mad, and you have, they will chop off your hand. So hide your fingers, get in, quick, in and out, in and out. Godspeed, Mr. President.’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”