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Showing posts with label Ghislaine Maxwell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ghislaine Maxwell. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 29, 2026

Show some respect for the office (it makes it very hard to delay anything)


When Trump last visited Michigan in January, a heckler called him a “pedophile protector” during his visit and once again, during a speech, he was called the same thing. Show some respect for the office. That’s President Pedophile Protector. —Jordan Klepper 


This week has also seen a report showing that the beleaguered Taylor Farms tried to delay an FDA recall announcement after it was alleged the recent explosive diarrhea outbreak originated there. If I understand correctly, cyclospora makes it very hard to delay anything. —Seth Meyers


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Tuesday, May 26, 2026

I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie (It’s called Bronzer, Nancy and it’s not fooling anyone)


Nancy Pelosi said President Trump is involved in a coverup. It’s called Bronzer, Nancy and it’s not fooling anyone. --Stephen Colbert


A wild raccoon has moved into a German zoo and the zookeepers can’t expel it. Zookeepers say the raccoon “can expect free board and lodgings for life, because European Union rules forbid him from being released back into the wild.” But “He’ll have to be castrated.” And I have a feeling that they are going to leave that part out of the Disney movie. --Stephen Colbert


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Ultimately, that decision comes down to the man controlling our military (when he cracked open her shipping container)


 

There is growing confusion over whether Israel being allowed to continue bombing Lebanon was part of the ceasefire with Iran. Ultimately, that decision comes down to the man controlling our military, Benjamin Netanyahu. —Michael Che    

First Lady Melania Trump made a rare public statement to deny reports that Jeffrey Epstein introduced her to Donald Trump, because they actually met when Trump cracked open her shipping container. —Michael Che


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.” 

this according to a recent lie a man told his wife (smartest pork chop)

A number of bars around the country have implemented a policy banning cellphones, this according to a recent lie a man told his wife. —Colin Jost    

A pig named Merlin that can talk using pre-programmed buttons has set a new world record for largest Instagram following for a pig. And then it set the record for smartest pork chop. —Colin Jost 
  

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Ma! Why You Gotta Tell Them That For? (the bank goblins from Harry Potter)

 

A new report finds that the state with the most adult children still living with their parents is New Jersey. Adult children in New Jersey are calling the report "Ma! Why You Gotta Tell Them That For?” —Colin Jost    

British officials have blocked Kanye West from entering the country to perform at a music festival despite his offer to meet with members of England's Jewish community, which he thinks are the bank goblins from Harry Potter. —Colin Jost


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

That tells you everything you need to know (They're literally holding a straight)

 

Today the United States held peace negotiations with Iran. But then, just an hour ago, President Trump posted, "If Iran doesn't agree to peace, the greatest military of all time, ours, will "f" Iran right up their Strait of Hormuz. Asalam alaykum, you crazy bastards." Now, I completely made that up. But isn't it kind of disturbing that you all totally believed that he had posted that? President Trump did genuinely issue a post threatening to destroy Iran's entire civilization and then ended with the phrase "praise be to Allah.” And I know that almost makes Trump sound like he is a radical terrorist. But remember, Trump has already been to a paradise with 72 virgins. —Colin Jost    

Before the peace talks fell apart, President Trump warned Iran about making any more demands, saying, "The Iranians don't seem to realize they have no cards." They're literally holding a “straight." —Colin Jost


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

My estate better make sure that the Jonas Brothers are banned from my funeral (they should come over later)

 

Starting in December, eligible men aged 18 to 25 will automatically be registered for the draft. As for women aged 18 to 25, they should come over later. —Greg Gutfeld        

Two women in Mexico were filmed fighting over a coffin after reportedly learning that they both dated the deceased man. Well, that reminds me. My estate better make sure that the Jonas Brothers are banned from my funeral. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

which will more than cover funeral costs (Lucky)


Detroit is offering up to $15,000 for people to move there, which will more than cover funeral costs. —Greg Gutfeld

Fox and Friends will be giving away an RV to one lucky viewer for America's 250th birthday. This will also mark the first time a Fox and Friends viewer will be called Lucky. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.” 

How many of you will play yourself? (nobody's more relieved than me and my girlfriend)

 

According to new data, America's teen birth rate fell to a record low last year. And nobody's more relieved than me and my girlfriend. —Greg Gutfeld    

A New York pet company is willing to pay up to $1,000 an hour for someone willing to sniff dog breath. The title is Joy Behar's assistant. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

What a United Nation looks like (face Mecca)


A public school in Nashville is allowing Muslim students to actually leave class to pray in a space reserved especially for them. No word yet whether teachers having sex with students must face Mecca. —Greg Gutfeld    

Researchers report that men are worse at finding deals than women when shopping, but the women's savings are canceled out by the damage they do to their cars in the parking lot. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.” 

good-looking chick (radioactive toilet flush)

 

90-year-old golf legend Gary Player was called sexist for referring to a reporter as a good-looking chick. But all was forgiven moments later when Tiger Woods ran him over. —Greg Gutfeld    

A new report shows millions of gallons of radioactive water was released into the Hudson River that flows to New York City. In a related story, Jerry Nadler flushed his toilet. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”

And to show he's serious, he's already failed his drug test (but they've yet to apologize for...)

 
So CNN is apologizing for making everyone think that Michael J. Fox had died, but they've yet to apologize for spending four years making everyone think Joe Biden was alive. —Greg Gutfeld    

Hunter Biden has challenged Donald Trump's sons to a cage fight. And to show he's serious, he's already failed his drug test. —Greg Gutfeld 
 
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Saturday, March 21, 2026

an extra hour to fake a headache (they want to be the hot one)


In a recent interview, Whoopi Goldberg said her sex life is mostly hit and runs. Here's how it works. She hits a man with a car and then has sex with them before they can run away. —Greg Gutfeld


MS Now is reducing Morning Joe from 4 hours to three. Which means Mika has an extra hour to fake a headache. —Greg Gutfeld

A poll revealed that when it comes to women picking female friends, the top qualities they value are grit, humor, and intelligence. In other words, they want to be the hot one. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

He was bitten by a radioactive douchebag (That unborn child is Luke Skywalker)


Republicans are blaming President Obama for creating Donald Trump. While others say he was created in a lab when a young real estate developer was bitten by a radioactive douchebag. –Conan O’Brien


"I'm upset that friend of the show Mike Huckabee criticized Natalie Portman for having a child out of wedlock. Listen, I'm no fan of unwed mothers either, but this is Natalie Portman we're talking about. That unborn child is Luke Skywalker." –Conan O'Brien


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Mission accomplished … in a manner of speaking (once they get the wheels back)


The Ford Motor Company announced it's giving the Pope a custom Explorer. It was built in Chicago, and the Pope will receive it once they get the wheels back. —Greg Gutfeld 


The war with Iran is costing $6 Billion a day. Still, President Trump told CBS News: “I think the war is very complete … pretty much.” Yes, very complete, pretty much. Just like that famous banner: Mission accomplished … in a manner of speaking. —Stephen Colbert 


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Tuesday, March 10, 2026

Heated Rivalry (Hey look, the aliens are...)


A passenger on Japan Airlines posted a picture of a seat cushion on the plane that features a cheek-splitter wedge in the middle, which is very confusing because "Cheek Splitter" is also the Japanese title for "Heated Rivalry.” —Michael Che


Kentucky police arrested a man after he was caught having sex with a dead deer. I know. Worse, it wasn't dead when he started. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

That's not an affair. It's a felony (Let's be clear)


An etiquette expert is saying that the proper way to eat cereal is with a spoon in one hand and a fork in the other. The fork is to attack anyone that comes for... [Irish accent] ...me Lucky Charms. —Colin Jost


A rash has appeared on President Trump's neck, which is just above his collar. Apparently, someone accidentally washed his shirt in holy water. —Michael Che


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Maybe that was the whole idea to begin with (Illuminati, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness monster)


So, the government just released more documents about the death of Jeffrey Epstein, and they inspire about as much trust as a 2001 urine test from Barry Bonds. According to these records, one of the prison guards responsible for watching Epstein actually googled him minutes before his body was found. And that same guard had made a mysterious $5,000 cash deposit days earlier. One of several unexplained deposits flagged by the bank.

 

Now, maybe it's perfectly normal for the person guarding the most famous inmate in America to be surfing the web for info on him. Maybe she was also googling the thread count for prison sheets. I hear anything under 400 is rough on your hands.


But also simultaneously making random cash deposits that equal about a month's take-home pay. That seems like a red flag. The kind that could easily end up tied around someone's neck. 


Even harder to believe, an inmate an inmate said while medics were trying to revive Epstein, he heard a woman say, "If he's dead, we're going to have to cover it up and he's going to have to have an alibi, my officers.” Which sounds like something a villain would say to fill in the plot holes on Murder She Wrote. 


But here's the real problem. By the time we get these revelations, what are we to believe? And that's not because we all suddenly became conspiracy theorists. No, is it because the original investigation into Epstein's death was handled like a middle school class project where one kid goes through the motions while the rest eat glue.


Let's recap. Epstein dies in 2019 while awaiting trial on federal sex trafficking charges. The official ruling suicide by hanging, but the circumstances around that are shakier than Mitch McConnell on a Segway.


That's according to the court. The guards fell asleep. The required 30 minute self checks didn't happen. The surveillance cameras mysteriously malfunctioned. And the guards later admitted they falsified records saying they checked on him. All that's missing is sorry teacher, my dog ate the prisoner.


That is not an investigation. That's the plot of Police Academy 10 special ed division. That's the tragedy. When authorities botch the early stages of a case this badly, everything afterward gets dumped into the same bucket. Real evidence, weak evidence, internet rumors, coverups, Bill Clinton's nipple clamps.


It all looks the same because nothing can be reliable. Think about it. Even the most basic questions about Epstein still exist, like where did all his money actually come from? This guy went from high school math teacher to globe trotting financier with private jets, an island, and a black book that looked like Oprah's Christmas card list. 


And the explanation we got, well, you know, he managed money for rich people. Oh, well that clears everything up. Turns out he's E F***ing Hutton or EFF Hutton. But that's the thing about half-answered questions. They don't disappear. They fester. They multiply. Like Elon Musk at a beauty pageant. So now when new revelations drop, people don't say, "Holy crap." They either shrug or assume the entire government is run by the Illuminati, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness monster.


Because when institutions leave giant holes in the story, the internet fills them. If investigators had done their job properly from the start, secured the evidence, explained the timeline, answered the obvious questions, then we could evaluate new info like adults.


Instead, we're stuck in a reality where every new fact gets treated with suspicion. It's like a fan letter addressed to Jesse Waters. We just assume it's fake. You lose public trust, which means that years later, the biggest mystery isn't just what happened in that cell. It's why the people responsible for uncovering the truth didn't try that hard. But then again, maybe that was the whole idea to begin with. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”