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Sunday, May 15, 2016

before he shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave



"You know, we've made a lot of jokes about Dick Cheney and hunting and shooting his buddies in the face but he really is a great sportsman. I mean, before he shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave." --David Letterman

"Earlier today, Argentina's first lady was elected as the new president of Argentina, which makes the former president the new 'first spouse.' Or, as President Bill Clinton calls him, 'My future wingman.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on '60 Minutes,' French President Nicolas Sarkozy got up and left in the middle of an interview. He just got up and stormed out. The citizens of France say their president acted rudely, and they've never been prouder." --Conan O'Brien




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