Dick Cheney was in Upstate New York to hunt peasants

"Vice President Dick Cheney went out hunting again today. God, I didn't even know it was lawyer season. No, actually Dick Cheney said he was in Upstate New York to hunt peasants. Uhh, pheasants. I'm sorry." --Jay Leno

"Here's a true story. A buddy of mine from Washington called me. Aides told President Bush that he should congratulate the Red Sox. Poor guy, he's so confused that he went to the top drawer of his dresser."  --David Letterman

"We thought this day would never come, but guess what, ladies and gentlemen, he's at it again.  Vice President Dick Cheney is pheasant hunting in Upstate New York today. The hunt went pretty well. Dick drove back to the hotel with a hunting buddy tied to his fender."  --David Letterman