They said it's all part of their plan to sell zero magazines (And I don't own a cape)

"Yesterday at a campaign fundraiser, Hillary Clinton criticized Vice President Cheney and called him 'Darth Vader.' Cheney denied it and said, 'Darth Vader is evil, half-machine and always wears a cape. And I don't own a cape.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Radar magazine is causing a big controversy because the cover of their November issue features a doctored photo of a partially dressed Rudy Giuliani and a totally nude Hillary Clinton. Radar says it's all part of their plan to sell zero magazines." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on '60 Minutes,' French President Nicolas Sarkozy got up and left in the middle of an interview. He just got up and stormed out. The citizens of France say their president acted rudely, and they've never been prouder." --Conan O'Brien

"Among the top Google searches of 2014 were Ebola and the movie 'Frozen.' One leaves you with something highly infectious that's impossible to get out of your system. The other is Ebola." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it's all part of their plan to sell zero magazines (just one of those things I guess)

"I do, I like that John McCain, he looks like a guy who waits

all day for the mail to come. He looks like a guy who's dating

your mom. He looks like one of those guys who calls the

waitress 'Toots.'" --David Letterman

"Radar magazine is causing a big controversy because the

cover of their November issue features a doctored photo

of a partially dressed Rudy Giuliani and a totally nude

Hillary Clinton. Radar says it's all part of their plan to

sell zero magazines." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on '60 Minutes,' French President Nicolas

Sarkozy got up and left in the middle of an interview.

He just got up and stormed out. The citizens of France

say their president acted rudely, and they've never been

prouder." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday at a campaign fundraiser, Hillary Clinton

criticized Vice President Cheney and called him 'Darth

Vader.' Cheney denied it and said, 'Darth Vader is evil,

half-machine and always wears a cape. And I don't own

a cape.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's riding his 'bicyclette' off into the sunset (Their relationship is described as French)

May 2012

"In a new interview, Vice President Joe Biden said the sitcom 'Will & Grace' made America more comfortable with gay people. Biden also said the sitcom character Urkel made America more comfortable with President Obama." –Conan O'Brien

"France has a new president who lives with a woman that he is not married to. Their relationship is described as French." –Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday France elected a new president. When the French secret service hires prostitutes, it is not a scandal. It is called test driving mistresses for your boss." –Craig Ferguson

"The French president got voted out. So 'adieu' to Nicolas Sarkozy. He's riding his 'bicyclette' off into the sunset." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as Obama put it, 'Uh-oh.' (This woman never gets paid)

May 2012

"France has a new president. He is Socialist François Hollande. He defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a presidential run-off yesterday. Of course, Nicolas Sarkozy handed over power in the traditional French manner. He surrendered." –Jay Leno

"After just one term in office, French President Nicolas Sarkozy lost his re-election bid because he was unable to fix his nation's economy. Or as Obama put it, 'Uh-oh.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday on CBS, Newt Gingrich said it would be 'inconceivable' for Mitt Romney to choose him as a running mate. And today, Romney issued a statement saying, 'Yep.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"More details about the Secret Service scandal. The 'Today' show sat down with the woman who claims to be the Colombian prostitute who got into the argument over how much she was supposed to be paid. NBC made a point of saying they did not pay her for the interview. This woman never gets paid." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And it goes faster if you put them in a Ziploc bag (Today is a testicle search day)

"We're abandoning the color coded warning system for terror alerts and are going back to the old system of tagging people with beards. No, they're going to announce when you get to the airport what kind of search procedures they're using. [Clip of airport with announcer saying, "Today is a testicle search day."] And it goes faster if you put them in a ziploc bag." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Someone hacked the Facebook account of French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Or not really hacked. Someone asked for his password and he surrendered it." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Facebook says they're very concerned about this. And they are committed to making sure the only people who will be able to take and sell your personal information without your consent is them." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

never hail a cab that is flying a Somalian skull and bones (That's exactly what I've been saying)

"A lot of folks from out of town visiting New York City. Be careful, word of caution, word of caution. Never hail a cab, now I'm serious about this, never hail a cab that is flying a Somalian skull and bones." --David Letterman

"Have you had a cab driver using a cell phone? I'm in the cab this morning coming to work and I said, 'Look, look, look. Look, do me a favor, stop talking on your cell phone.' And the driver said, 'I'm not talking on my cell phone, I'm on Google Earth trying to track down an oil tanker off the Horn of Africa.'" --David Letterman

"Did you hear what Nicolas Sarkozy, the French president, said about Obama yesterday? He called his new policies 'unsubstantial and overrated.' Then Hillary Clinton said, 'That's exactly what I've been saying.'" --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

They are giving away a door prize. Yeah, this year, it's Iceland (smokin' hot wife!)

"Barack Obama is in London now, meeting with the G-20 countries, and the only thing that they have agreed on so far is that French President Sarkozy has a smokin' hot wife!" --David Letterman

"A lot of excitement there, though, at the G20 summit. They are giving away a door prize. Yeah, this year, it's Iceland." --David Letterman

"I like to contrast what President Obama is up to and what John McCain, his opponent in the general election, is up to. For example, Obama met with 17 political leaders from 11 nations. He will attend five summits in different countries around Europe. Today, comparatively speaking, John McCain watched his 89 Caddy go through the car wash." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

All the colors of the rainbow from eggshell to ivory (Nation, we did it again)

"Nation, we did it again. This past Sunday, the French people went to the polls and elected conservative, pro-American candidate Nicolas Sarkozy as their new president. Just how American is he? He's allowed himself to be photographed with George W. Bush, which means he's more American than many of our presidential candidates." --Stephen Colbert

"Speaking of elections, last week Republicans held their first presidential debate. All the big candidates were there. McCain, Romney, Giuliani, Brownback, Huckabee ... and five other candidates who demonstrated the Republican Party's diversity. All the colors of the rainbow from eggshell to ivory." --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I Won't Shut Up! (Pillow Fort One)

"Let's begin tonight with news from the Bush family retreat in Kennebunkport, Maine. Or, as the president calls it, Pillow Fort One. Where, over the weekend, newly-minted French President Nicolas Sarkozy was invited to join the president and first lady. Fortunately, the two leaders seemed to hit it off quite well. All the president had to do was try not to live down to the worst stereotypes of Americans [on screen: Bush saying, 'We're going to give him a hamburger and hot dog, his choice']. Actually, it could have been worse. The president actually wanted lunchables." --Jon Stewart

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Let's hurry this up. I'm late for my ethics class (Beltway insiders)

"We know Washington, DC, was very shaken last week when news that Karl Rove, the man whose mouthful advisory teets have fed so many Beltway insiders these past six and a half years, was capping the spigot and moving on. But before leaving for good -- and I use the term literally -- last week, Rove went on his farewell tour to defend himself and his president [on screen: Rove saying that Bush's critics are 'elite, effete snobs']. Yeah! Who are these effete, elite snobs who criticize Bush, these snobs with their Ivy League degrees, entertaining French guests at their family estates on the New England coast [on screen: a photo of Bush and French President Nicolas Sarkozy in Kennebunkport]... oh, right." --Jon Stewart

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

To which Hillary Clinton said, 'So?' (fake bombs)

"According to a new report, security screeners at our nation's airports -- this is scary -- failed to find fake bombs hidden on undercover agents 60% of the time. President Bush said today, 'Well, who cares about fake bombs?'" --Jay Leno

"Some sad news. France's new president, Nicolas Sarkozy -- he and his wife have separated. The rumor is that he stayed in the marriage for political gain and had planned to get a divorce right after being elected president. To which Hillary Clinton said, 'So?'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

Holy Shadow Campaign, Tumpman!/My future wingman/never been prouder

"Earlier today, Argentina's first lady was elected as the new president of Argentina, which makes the former president the new 'first spouse.' Or, as President Bill Clinton calls him, 'My future wingman.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on '60 Minutes,' French President Nicolas Sarkozy got up and left in the middle of an interview. He just got up and stormed out. The citizens of France say their president acted rudely, and they've never been prouder." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems

Keep him on the golf course (Sarkozy's hot wife)

"Actually, McCain's big mistake was not knowing the name of French President Sarkozy's hot wife. The three presidential debates, I was not aware of this, will be held in three different states. Mississippi, New York and Tennessee. And fortunately, John McCain has a home in each one. So that's good." --David Letterman

"Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said that the proposed bailout plan will cost taxpayers $700 billion. To give you an idea how much money that is, I can't give you an idea of how much money that is." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 @BrandNew535 @justicedems

You know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen

"Actually, McCain's big mistake was not knowing the name of French President Sarkozy's hot wife. The three presidential debates, I was not aware of this, will be held in three different states. Mississippi, New York and Tennessee. And fortunately, John McCain has a home in each one. So that's good." --David Letterman



"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno



"Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said that the proposed bailout plan will cost taxpayers $700 billion. To give you an idea how much money that is, I can't give you an idea of how much money that is." --Seth Meyers



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

before he shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave

"You know, we've made a lot of jokes about Dick Cheney and hunting and shooting his buddies in the face but he really is a great sportsman. I mean, before he shoots the pheasant, he makes it dig its own grave." --David Letterman

"Earlier today, Argentina's first lady was elected as the new president of Argentina, which makes the former president the new 'first spouse.' Or, as President Bill Clinton calls him, 'My future wingman.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on '60 Minutes,' French President Nicolas Sarkozy got up and left in the middle of an interview. He just got up and stormed out. The citizens of France say their president acted rudely, and they've never been prouder." --Conan O'Brien