Had he just been making light bulbs instead of movies he wouldn’t be in prison now (I just put my hand over my heart)

"General Electric announced it made a profit of $14 billion last year and paid zero in U.S. taxes. How does this make Wesley Snipes feel? Had he just been making light bulbs instead of movies he wouldn’t be in prison now." –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so conservative, he won't even use the phrase ‘get ahold of yourself.’ That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno

"Newt Gingrich explained why he fooled around on his first two wives by saying he loved this country so much that it led him to cheating. He was so passionate about it he had to take his pants off. When I hear the National Anthem I just put my hand over my heart." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know the sad thing, a lot of historians would agree with that (Riding that train, high on cocaine...)

"Experts say we're going through what's known as a lock, stock and barrel financial phase. You know what that is, and how that works? People are locked out of their homes, their stocks are worthless, and the oil companies have us over a barrel. That's how it works." --Jay Leno

 

"President Bush said catching a 7.5 pound fish was his best moment since becoming president. You know the sad thing, a lot of historians would agree with that." --Jay Leno

 

"On this week on ABC, John McCain said, no new taxes. You know who else said no new taxes? Wesley Snipes." –Jay Leno

"It turns out, Jack Abramoff got a lot of money from the Indian gaming people and then he defrauded them. He defrauded Indian tribes and took their money. I just hope this one incident doesn't poison the normally good trust that existed between the white man and the Indian." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Why does America need unions? (that’s a joke, pay your taxes)

September 2013

"As of now we still don’t know whether Congress is going to vote to shut down the government. However, it looks like they still might burn it down for the insurance money." –Arsenio Hall

"All this drama is very confusing to all the hookers in D.C. They don’t know whether they have to go to work tomorrow either." –Arsenio Hall

"Now, I’m not sure how politics works, but I’m pretty sure if the government shuts down it means that we don’t have to pay taxes. I’m just kidding, Wesley Snipes … that’s a joke … pay your taxes." –Arsenio Hall

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now what lies from the ultra-rich and corporations would you like to feed me? (It's called the First Amendment)

June 2013

"The mystery is over. After a month of waiting, it turns out that an 84-year-old woman in Florida has won the $590 million Powerball lottery. As for how much tax she's going to have to pay, the IRS said it's too early to tell because they don't know whether she's a Republican or Democrat." –Jay Leno

"The IRS spent $4 million on a conference in Anaheim that included luxury hotel suites, passes to theme parks, and tickets to sporting events. They say they're not sure of the exact amount they spent because they didn't keep any receipts. I think Wesley Snipes is saying, 'Hey, what about me? I didn't have my receipts.'" –Jay Leno

"President Obama has called on Congress to pass a media shield law that would allow reporters to do their job without fear of government prosecution. Don't we already have that? It's called the First Amendment." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But it's not the heat that gets you; it's the stupidity (the government is wasted)

August 2011

"Here's an amazing fact: Apple has more cash on hand than the U.S. government. Is that really amazing? Wesley Snipes has more cash on hand than the U.S. government. We're broke!" –Jay Leno

"July was the hottest month on record in Washington, D.C. But it's not the heat that gets you; it's the stupidity." –Jay Leno

"A new report has found that adults in Washington D.C. are among the top users of cocaine in the country. Hence the name 'District of Columbia.'" –Jay Leno

"That's what the study said. The study found that Washington D.C. residents were the top abusers of alcohol, cocaine, and marijuana. All this time we thought the problem was government waste. Nope – the government is wasted." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You can't change a corrupt system by taking their money (Apparently this is an epidemic)

"General Electric announced it made a profit of $14 billion last year and paid zero in U.S. taxes. How does this make Wesley Snipes feel? Had he just been making light bulbs instead of movies he wouldn’t be in prison now." –Jay Leno

"According to the latest reports, medical marijuana sales in this country are now approaching $2 billion a year. I had no idea that so many people had glaucoma. Apparently this is an epidemic." –Jay Leno

"Prosecutors announced yesterday that Karl Rove will not be charged with any crimes. The White House was pretty relieved. President Bush told Dick Cheney, 'You can cancel that hunting trip with Karl Rove.'" --Jay Leno

"Republican frontrunner Rudy Giuliani  says he's going to try to follow Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment that a Republican should never attack another Republican. Let's hope Rudy has better luck with the 11th commandment than he did with the 7th commandment." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hillary will be signed by the L.A. Clippers (Chuck Norris stunt double)

"Hillary lost 10 in a row. That's not good. If she loses one more, she will be signed by the L.A. Clippers." --Jay Leno

"Mike Huckabee's campaign is starting to taper off a little bit. Like for the big rallies, Chuck Norris just sends his stunt double." --Jay Leno

"On this week on ABC, John McCain said, no new taxes. You know who else said no new taxes? Wesley Snipes." --Jay Leno

"Over in Africa, President Bush is being welcomed as a hero in Tanzania. See, that's because President Bush always said one day third world countries would have the same economy as the United States and thanks to his economic plan, now they do." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

President Bush brushed up on Muslim culture by watching the movie Aladdin

"President Bush says there are similarities between Iraq and Vietnam. Of course, the big difference is, his dad could get him out of Vietnam." --Jay Leno

"There's now concern North Korea is about to set off a second nuclear bomb. Experts say the second bomb is twice as powerful as the first one, which means it could blow up two mail boxes." --Jay Leno

"Political experts say for the Republicans to win this November, they need something really, really big to happen -- like if President Bush suddenly finds Osama bin Laden. Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Wesley Snipes." --Jay Leno

"President Bush held a dinner for prominent Muslims to mark the end of the Muslim holiday of Ramadan. Before the dinner, President Bush brushed up on Muslim culture by watching the movie, 'Aladdin.' He's excited to meet Jafar." --Conan O'Brien

The moron trifecta

"Republicans' Thanksgiving is a little different; before eating they go around the table and everybody says what they're hateful for." –Bill Maher



"There are these people they're calling 'debt ceiling deniers' – Republicans who have decided that, unlike every economist on the entire planet, maybe defaulting on our debt would be a good thing. First they didn't believe in evolution, then they didn't believe in global warming, and now the debt ceiling; what I like to call the 'moron trifecta.'" –Bill Maher



"Here's the idea: Step 1, stop paying our bills. Step 2, everything's fine. The last guy who tried this was Wesley Snipes." –Bill Maher 

They literally do not know where babies come from

"A new poll shows that one of the major parties in this country – I won't tell you which one – is a majority birther party. That's right, more than half of Republicans now think Obama was born in Kenya. They literally do not know where babies come from." –Bill Maher



"Michele Bachmann says she will launch her Presidential campaign in either Massachusetts or New Hampshire as soon as she figures out which is which. There could be some eligibility problems for her. She has her birth certificate, but nobody can produce her high school diploma." –Jay Leno



"General Electric announced it made a profit of $14 billion last year and paid zero in U.S. taxes. How does this make Wesley Snipes feel? Had he just been making light bulbs instead of movies he wouldn’t be in prison now." –Jay Leno