It’s oakey with notes of...blasted pizza (That was all me)

A woman was recently banned from a Texas Wal-Mart after driving an electric shopping cart around the parking lot for several hours while drinking wine from a Pringles can. Also, I should add, it was 9 o’clock in the morning. If you ever want to know what my goals for retirement are, that’s pretty much it. I will say, if you have a better idea of how to get those crumbs out of the bottom of the can, I’d like to hear it. It makes sense. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of drinking wine out of a pringles can before. “Oh, this Pinot Grigio is robust. It’s oakey with notes of...blasted pizza.” --James Corden

I have lived in Los Angeles for one year, and in that time Los Angeles has regained an NFL team, it started raining again after three years of drought, and they opened the city's first Dunkin' Donuts. Now look, I can't take credit for all of those, but I'm definitely taking credit for that Dunkin' Donuts. That was all me. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How did this not happen in Florida? (Probably a good move)

I saw that Donald Trump spent yesterday playing golf instead of commemorating Martin Luther King Jr. People were pretty upset — then they thought about what Trump would’ve said and were like, “Probably a good move.” --Jimmy Fallon

A woman in Texas was banned from Walmart this weekend. The woman spent several hours driving an electric shopping cart around the store's parking lot while drinking wine from a Pringles can. Texas police had a lot of questions, starting with, "How did this not happen in Florida?" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

cops say their job has never been easier (rich people's rocket money)

Donald Trump is considering Sarah Palin to be his secretary of Veterans Affairs. Palin says she’s great at helping veterans. John McCain was like, “Wrong.” –Jimmy Fallon

There's a new dating site that's specifically for people who love Disney movies called "Mouse Mingle." Guys who join the site say they love it, while cops say their job has never been easier. –Jimmy Fallon

Pringles is selling a line of scented candles in the U.K. that smell like different Pringles flavors. They said they tried selling them in the U.S., but people ate them. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which is great news for everyone whose New Year’s resolution was lawless anarchy (living her best life)

Because we keep learning more and more details of Trump’s close ties to Moscow. For instance, after Trump fired James Comey, the FBI began a counter-intelligence investigation of Trump. Which makes sense. Everything Trump does is counter intelligence. --Stephen Colbert

Meanwhile in role model news, a woman got banned from Wal-Mart after riding a cart while drinking wine from a Pringles can. I’m sorry, that headline is wrong. It should read, “Woman got banned from Wal-Mart for living her best life.” --Stephen Colbert

It’s day 25 of the government shutdown. Which is great news for everyone whose New Year’s resolution was lawless anarchy. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Well, other than the time when Stormy Daniels said, "Was that it?" (How did this not happen in Florida?)

On Fox News this weekend, Judge Jeanine Pirro asked Trump if he'd ever worked for Putin, and he called it "The most insulting thing I've ever been asked." Well, other than the time when Stormy Daniels said, "Was that it?" --Jimmy Fallon

Some more political news -- this weekend, former Obama official Julián Castro announced that he is running for President in 2020. Yep, he even unveiled his campaign slogan. Take a look -- it's "One nation, one destiny," which is a lot better than Trump's 2020 slogan, "One nation, one TSA agent." --Jimmy Fallon

A woman in Texas was banned from Walmart this weekend. The woman spent several hours driving an electric shopping cart around the store's parking lot while drinking wine from a Pringles can. Texas police had a lot of questions, starting with, "How did this not happen in Florida?" --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm really starting to miss the old days, when if Trump had a stupid idea, it just went out of business (with notes of...blasted pizza)

President Trump said today that he will never, ever back down from his demand for a border wall. I got to say, I'm really starting to miss the old days, when if Trump had a stupid idea, it just went out of business. --Seth Meyers

A woman was recently banned from a Texas Wal-Mart after driving an electric shopping cart around the parking lot for several hours while drinking wine from a Pringles can. Also, I should add, it was 9 o’clock in the morning. If you ever want to know what my goals for retirement are, that’s pretty much it. I will say, if you have a better idea of how to get those crumbs out of the bottom of the can, I’d like to hear it. It makes sense. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of drinking wine out of a pringles can before. “Oh, this Pinot Grigio is robust. It’s oakey with notes of...blasted pizza.” --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Juniper, or as Betsy Devos calls it, the biggest planet (Figure out the details)

Starbucks recently released a limited edition juniper latte. Juniper, or as Betsy Devos calls it, the biggest planet. –Seth Meyers

Pringles has launched several new potato chip flavors including turkey, stuffing, mashed potato, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie. Or as single dads call it, "Thanksgiving!" –Seth Meyers

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

How's My Driving? (showing a little cleavage, pt. 2)

"According to store owners in Iraq, Iraqi consumers are now developing a taste for American products like Pringles, Fruit Loops and Kraft macaroni and cheese. In a related story, Iraqis are also developing huge asses." --Conan O'Brien

"The big story in Washington D.C. . . . not the war in Iraq, not Alberto Gonzales lying to Congress, not healthcare . . . the big story everyone is talking about, Hillary Clinton showing a little cleavage. It's amazing isn't it? The United States is 231 years old, but apparently the media is only 13." --Jay Leno

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans