It goes great with my gravy scented deodorant (Legend)

Pop star Ed Sheeran joined tonight show host Jimmy Fallon for a music performance in the New York City subway. It's the first time commuters threw themselves in front of oncoming trains. —Greg Gutfeld

KFC is now offering a fried chicken flavored toothpaste. Yeah, it goes great with my gravy scented deodorant said JB Pritzker. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they try to come back from a 6 billion point deficit (blank pages)

"Disneyworld said that it will help its employees sign up for Obamacare. So finally Sneezy can get some Claritin, Sleepy can get some Adderall, and Grumpy can get some Prozac." –Jimmy Fallon

“President Trump tried to prove how healthy he was this weekend by releasing this photo of him ‘at work.’ Now, some have pointed out that the piece of paper seems to be blank. It seems like a photo-op, but they’ve really just been handing Trump blank pages to sign for the past four years.” —Jimmy Fallon

"EA Sports released a new version of the video game 'NBA Jam' that features Obama, Biden, Bush, and Cheney. Bush and Cheney play the first half, then Obama and Biden try to come back from a 6 billion point deficit." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What's the opposite of a motivational speech? (It turns out fake money is not as valuable as you think)

November 2022

“In his first address to Twitter employees, Elon Musk said that bankruptcy is a possibility. Answering the question, "What's the opposite of a motivational speech?” —Jimmy Fallon

“I read that almost every major cryptocurrency is crashing. Right now, the only Bitcoin winners are the people who never wasted the time to understand it. It’s pretty shocking. It turns out fake money is not as valuable as you think.” —Jimmy Fallon

Herschel Walker has already raised more than 3 million dollars for his runoff election in Georgia. He said he wants to make sure that he gets a first term. Unlike most of his children. —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ed Sheeran’s reign of terror (special military sadness)

“We mourn the death of Queen Elizabeth II, who provided comfort to Britain for over 70 years. She helped weather several financial crises, joining and leaving the European Union and, of course, Ed Sheeran’s reign of terror.” —Stephen Colbert

“King Charles has immediately assumed his late mother’s financial portfolio worth billions, sans the 40% inheritance tax that applies to most British subjects. He’s supposed to be the ultimate public servant, and he doesn’t pay taxes? That is going to cost him some votes.” —Stephen Colbert

“In other news, Ukrainian victories in the east of the country have shattered Russia’s reputation as a military superpower. But don’t you worry, Russia, you’ll always have your reputation as an endless wasteland littered with clinically depressed root vegetables.” —Stephen Colbert

“The defeats have military experts noting that Russian troops suffer from low morale – or as the Kremlin calls it, ‘special military sadness.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Warriors of the Rainbow (and whatever you think of the queen, her duet with Tupac was amazing)

June 2022

“That’s right, Britain marked the queen’s 70-year reign with four days of parades, parties and celebrations. Yeah, four days. Basically, the queen is like your annoying friend who insists on celebrating their birthday month.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yep, the queen celebrated 70 years of sitting on the throne. When he heard, your uncle who does The New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle said, ‘Challenge accepted.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“It was a star-studded event with performances from Elton John, Rod Stewart and Ed Sheeran. Yeah, when Ed first walked out, the queen was like, ‘Oh, Harry, you’re back.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“During a parade over the weekend honoring her Platinum Jubilee, a hologram of Queen Elizabeth was shown in her Gold State Coach and whatever you think of the queen, her duet with Tupac was amazing.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This paint is so white it drives a Mini Cooper to an Ed Sheeran concert (Maybe Ted Lasso could)

September 2021

“Americans treat climate science like soccer: We know it’s out there, and it really matters to the rest of world, but no one can make us care. Maybe Ted Lasso could.” —Stephen Colbert

“But ordinary people are doing something about climate change: They’re worrying — especially young people. A recent study asked youths 16 to 25 from around the world how they felt about climate change, and 56 percent agreed with the viewpoint that humanity is doomed. Nice try, kids, but you’re not getting out of your student loans.” —Stephen Colbert

“There is also an effort to create the world’s whitest paint which would reflect 98% of solar radiation while also emitting infrared heat and could eliminate the need for air conditioning. This paint is so white it drives a Mini Cooper to an Ed Sheeran concert. It probably has a “daughter named Hailey.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They are literally putting a Band-Aid on the problem of racism (Nixon Christ Superstar)

“This is an interesting sign of the times, a small show of progress, perhaps. Johnson and Johnson announced via Instagram their plan to help heal our nation’s wounds, a line of racially inclusive Band-Aids. The Johnsons wrote: ‘We hear you. We see you. We’re listening to you.  We stand in solidarity with our Black colleagues, collaborators and community in the fight against racism, violence and injustice.’ They are literally putting a Band-Aid on the problem of racism.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“But good for Band-Aids for finally opening things up beyond the shade they’ve been using for a hundred years, a color known internally as ‘Ed Sheeran’s Neck.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Former national security adviser John Bolton’s new book is called The Room Where It Happened, a reference to the musical Hamilton, which is kinda weird – it’s like if Woodward and Bernstein called their book Nixon Christ Superstar.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Best Actress in a Movie About Newspapers (Oh, No... Not again!)

Ed Sheeran won two Grammy Awards. But poor Ed Sheeran. He was up for best pop solo performance in a category against four female nominees, and when he won Twitter attacked him. “This is ridiculous… in this year of all years, how dare Ed Sheeran beat those women…” You know Ed Sheeran didn’t actually “beat” any women. There was a vote. I mean, what’s he supposed to do? Write less popular songs? --Jimmy Kimmel

The big winner of last night was Bruno Mars. Bruno won six Grammy Awards, including Song of the Year, Album of the Year, and Record of the Year. You shouldn’t be able to win that many categories for the same thing. Imagine tuning in to the Oscars to see Meryl Streep win Best Actress, Best Actress with Long Hair, and Best Actress in a Movie About Newspapers. It’s too much. --Jimmy Kimmel

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Or you could now look forward to his brand new single, “Screaming Out Loud.”

Ed Sheeran made his first public appearance since an accident where he suffered a deep facial cut. It happened at a party when Princess Beatrice jokingly went to knight James Blunt with a sword, and accidentally cut Ed Sheeran on the back side swing. The only way to make getting clobbered in the face not at all hard-core is by adding James Blunt and knighthood and a princess to the story. –James Corden

You probably know Ed Sheeran from his song, “Thinking Out Loud.” Great song. Or you could now look forward to his brand new single, “Screaming Out Loud.” –James Corden