Health officials say there’s a new trend of women using marijuana during their pregnancy. This has given rise to another new trend — babies choosing to just stay in the womb and chill. –Conan O’Brien
In Florida, a 98-year-old man shot a hole-in-one. The 98-year-old was shocked, mostly because he had no idea he was playing golf. –Conan O’Brien
“While I was away the one story that really got me was when they booked Trump in Georgia and he self-reported his weight at 215 pounds. I almost crossed the picket line for that. If he’s 215 pounds, that means he’s 30 pounds lighter than his last physical when he was president. He was 245 pounds, which means he’s either lying or the colonel is now frying his chicken in Ozempic.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Donald Trump got arrested four times while we were on strike — once for the classified documents, once for interfering with the election, once for Jan. 6, and once for shooting Tupac, allegedly.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Trump is now facing 91 felony counts. Ninety-one felony counts. It’s like all of Melania’s birthday wishes came true at once.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“The writer’s strike is finally over. We’ve been gone so long, ‘The Bachelor’ is now a grandfather.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Sean Hannity praised, in an interview with House GOP members, ‘more diversity in the Republican party’. Absolutely, just look at the Republican rainbow of inclusion, [Colbert said of Hannity’s all-white audience of Republican lawmakers]. The full spectrum … they’ve got eggshell, vanilla, Band-Aid, Band-Aid with glasses, everything.” —Stephen Colbert
“Newly elected New York congressman George Santos, who has a long history of stretching the truth – by never telling it. Among numerous exposed fabrications, a new complaint filed with the Federal Election Commission accuses Santos of extensive lies about campaign finances. The complaint alleges Santos loaned $705,000 of his own money to his campaign, even though 2020 records indicate he only had a fortune of $55,000. Fair enough, but what about all of his other names, because up until he ran for Congress, Santos used the aliases Anthony Zabrovsky and Anthony Devolder. He has so many aliases, he had to swear in on two Bibles and a Torah.” —Stephen Colbert
“That’s right, Britain marked the queen’s 70-year reign with four days of parades, parties and celebrations. Yeah, four days. Basically, the queen is like your annoying friend who insists on celebrating their birthday month.” —Jimmy Fallon
“Yep, the queen celebrated 70 years of sitting on the throne. When he heard, your uncle who does The New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle said, ‘Challenge accepted.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“It was a star-studded event with performances from Elton John, Rod Stewart and Ed Sheeran. Yeah, when Ed first walked out, the queen was like, ‘Oh, Harry, you’re back.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“During a parade over the weekend honoring her Platinum Jubilee, a hologram of Queen Elizabeth was shown in her Gold State Coach and whatever you think of the queen, her duet with Tupac was amazing.” —Seth Meyers
"Last night in the Rose Garden, President Obama had a beer with a Medal of Honor winner. Not to be outdone, Joe Biden had a beer with a 'World of Warcraft' winner." –Jimmy Fallon
"Michele Bachmann and Cindy McCain had dinner together in a restaurant in Arizona. First they sent their entree back to the kitchen. Then they sent the kitchen staff back to Guadalajara." –Jimmy Fallon
"On Tuesday, Michelle Obama honored the creator of the Verdana computer font for his life's work. Yeah, she also honored the creator of Courier New for making my college essays look two to three pages longer." –Jimmy Fallon
"Another Sarah Palin documentary is coming out from the man who did 'Biggie and Tupac.' The Palin documentary is similar, but with more guns." –Conan O'Brien
I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to select. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.
On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
Orlando Magic
Martin Luther King, civil rights leader
Michael Jordan
LeBron James
Harry Potter, Harry Potter, played by Daniel Radcliffe
Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, played by Richard Harris
Hagrid, Harry Potter, played by Robbie Coltrane
Tupac Shakur, musician
Muddy Waters, musician
Shaquille O’Neal
Odo, Star Trek, played by Rene Auberjonois
Daryl Dixon, The Walking Dead, played by Norman Reedus
Saturday night Tupac Shakur was leaving the Bruce Seldon and Mike Tyson fight in Las Vegas and he was shot four times. Even though he was shot four times, he’s OK. That means he actually survived more rounds than Seldon. --David Letterman 9/10/1996
This is the second time that Tupac Shakur has been shot in the last eighteen months. It does have a silver lining though, because earlier today Tupac was named as the new spokesperson for the Target stores. --David Letterman 9/10/1996
Do you ever have buyer’s remorse? I woke up this morning and wondered what the hell am I going to do with a two ton monument of the Ten Commandments? --David Letterman 8/28/2003
I have been working on a
paper for the Education Market.
The paper talks about using
video games as a teaching tool for
children with learning
disabilities.
The age demographic would be
10 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to chose. Games might
include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about
various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their
team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion,
sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of
their team. The students would even be able to play along side their created
characters.
In this example I used PS4
Madden 17. On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and
Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway
and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a
simple and fun way for kids to learn.
Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might
be donated or discounted to schools for these classes.
More on the paper as it is
fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Offensive Line
LT Paul McCartney,
musician The Beatles
LG Jesus, some folks
Lord and Savior
C Charles Bukowski,
poet
RG God
RT John Lennon,
musician The Beatles
More Colts players include
Martin Luther King, Stephen
Hawking, Albert Einstein,
Muddy Waters, Winston
Churchill, Nelson Mandela
even characters from Star
Trek
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf,
Cmdr Data, James Kirk,
Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer,
Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge
Ben Sisko
and fictional characters
Jack Bauer, 24, played by
Keifer Sutherland
Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under,
played by Peter Krause
Also for sentimental reasons,
some fallen friends are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
St. Louis Rams Fantasy Roster
Offense
QB Kurt Warner, NFL
QB Roman Gabriel, NFL
HB Marshall Faulk, NFL
HB Eric Dickerson, NFL
HB Elroy “Crazy Legs”
Hirsch, NFL
WR Isaac Bruce, NFL
WR Miles Davis,
musician
WR Jon Snow, Game of
Thrones, played by Kit Harington
WR David Palmer, 24,
played by Dennis Haysbert
TE Ernest Hemingway,
author
LT Jackie Slater, NFL
Defense
LE Deacon Jones, NFL
LE Jack Youngblood, NFL
LE John Wick, John Wick
played by Keanu Reeves
LE Keith Olbermann,
journalist
LE Malcolm X, civil
rights activist
RE Lamar Lundy, NFL
RE Chuck D, musician
DT Merlin Olsen, NFL
DT Rosie Grier, NFL
DT Keyser Soze, Usual
Suspects
LB Tupac Shakur,
musician
LB Cannonball Adderley,
musician
LB Crazy Horse, Native
American leader
LB Sitting Bull, Native
American leader
LB Malcolm Reynolds,
Firefly, played by Nathan Fillion
LB Dominic Toretto,
Fast and Furious, played by Vin Diesel
CB Night Train Lane,
NFL
CB John Glenn,
astronaut
CB Robert Johnson,
musician
FS Jaqen H’ghar, Game
of Thrones, played by Tom Wlaschiha
FS Zeke Anderson, Tour
of Duty, played by Terence Knox
SS John Rambo, Rambo,
played by Sylvester Stallone
SS Django Freeman,
Django Unchained, played by Jamie Foxx
SS Arthur Rimbaud, poet
Special Teams
K Greg House, House,
played by Hugh Laurie
P Johnny
Handsome, Johnny Handsome played by Mickey Rourke
