Suddenly those drug cartels don't seem so greedy anymore, do they? (We could have invaded closer to home and saved gas)

"Now that marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado, in Denver they're talking about taxing it up to 35 percent. Suddenly those drug cartels don't seem so greedy anymore, do they?" –Jay Leno

"But to be fair to President Bush, at the time we invaded Iraq, he thought Venezuela was a planet. Of course, today, he corrected himself. He now realizes Venezuela is those horns they blow at the World Cup." –Jay Leno

"BBC is reporting that Venezuela may have massive oil reserves, more than even Saudi Arabia. You know what that means? We could have invaded closer to home and saved gas." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

for the woman who wants to let everyone know that she's the drunkest mom at the kid's pool party (military industrial complex)

“But he’s promised a female nominee. This means Donald Trump is going to be spending a lot of time this weekend enjoying his favorite hobby: rating women on a scale of one to 10.” —James Corden

High-heel Crocs — for the woman who wants to let everyone know that she's the drunkest mom at the kid's pool party. --James Corden

According to a new report from the BBC, a strange detail has come to light about a summer meeting between President Donald Trump and Spain's Foreign Minister Josep Borrell. Apparently, while discussing European immigration policies, President Trump suggested that Spain should also build a wall. Trump is now making policy suggestions to Spain — or as he calls it, "European Mexico." And where did Trump tell the foreign minister of Spain to build that wall? Straight through the Sahara Desert in Africa. Trump is not great with geography and borders, which is weird. Usually the only time Trump has problems understanding boundaries is with female employees. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I mean, the other side offers their guys, what, 72 virgins? We get a 3-year-old sandwich (drug cartels don't seem so greedy anymore, do they?)

"But to be fair to President Bush, at the time we invaded Iraq,

he thought Venezuela was a planet. Of course, today, he corrected

himself. He now realizes Venezuela is those horns they blow at

the World Cup." –Jay Leno

"BBC is reporting that Venezuela may have massive oil reserves, more than even Saudi Arabia. You know what that means? We could have invaded closer to home and saved gas." –Jay Leno

"Now that marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado, in Denver they're talking about taxing it up to 35 percent. Suddenly those drug cartels don't seem so greedy anymore, do they?" –Jay Leno

Scientists for the United States Army have developed a sandwich that can remain edible for three years. Well, if that doesn't get guys to re-up, nothing will. Let me tell you, that shows you how dedicated our armed forces are. I mean, the other side offers their guys, what, 72 virgins? We get a 3-year-old sandwich." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Who are you and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton? (taking sides)

 

"Some financial analysts are saying we're bailing out institutions with money we don't have, which makes the dollar even more worthless. In fact, today, God said, 'Could you take my name off the money?" --Jay Leno

"And in an interview recorded by the BBC in Africa, Bill Clinton told people in Africa to practice monogamy and that we need to control unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners. In fact, the minute he said that, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground and said, 'Who are you and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton?'" –Jay Leno

 

"And another day, another federal bailout. This is unbelievable to me. The Federal Reserve has just loaned the AIG Insurance Company $85 billion to keep it afloat. $85 billion. That is almost as much money as Barack Obama raised last night in Beverly Hills." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How 'bout some help here? (She kept referring to lunch period as “Miller time.”)

Do you ever notice that sometimes when Donald Trump gives a press conference he sounds like a 5-year-old telling you what he saw at the zoo. --Seth Meyers

Police in South Carolina charged a substitute teacher last week for allegedly being drunk while in class. Students realized she was drunk after she kept referring to lunch period as “Miller time.” –Seth Meyers

New York lawmakers have proposed a new bill that would make baseball the state's official sport, replacing the current official sport, trying to urinate between two parked cars without getting caught. --Seth Meyers

CNN and Telemundo both carried tonight’s debate. So questions were addressed either “for Mr. Trump” or “para El Diablo." –Seth Meyers

According to a recent survey, 15 percent of Americans have admitted to cooking in the nude. Unfortunately, most of them work at Chipotle. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We could have invaded closer to home and saved gas (he thought Venezuela was a planet)

"BBC is reporting that Venezuela may have massive oil reserves, more than even Saudi Arabia. You know what that means? We could have invaded closer to home and saved gas." –Jay Leno

"But to be fair to President Bush, at the time we invaded Iraq, he thought Venezuela was a planet. Of course, today, he corrected himself. He now realizes Venezuela is those horns they blow at the World Cup." –Jay Leno

"People are sweating more than Sarah Palin trying to hire a wedding planner. That's how hot it was today." –Jay Leno

"Well, this week, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston revealed exclusively to Us Weekly, my bible, that they are getting married. Sarah Palin allegedly not happy about this, because she feels they barely know each other and they are making a big commitment. You know, kind of like when John McCain picked her for vice president." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the company could not survive in a market where everybody in the country is on the no-fly list (he'll be on wife No. 7)

"This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that they've installed will eventually capture the vast majority of oil spewing from the well. You know, if they could capture half the BS spewing from Tony Hayward, people would be thrilled." –Jay Leno

"BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back. You know, I say give him life plus 20." –Jay Leno

"The only commercial airline in Iraq, Iraqi Airways, folded this week. The CEO of Iraqi Airlines said the company could not survive in a market where everybody in the country is on the no-fly list." –Jay Leno

"Rush Limbaugh got married for the fourth time on Saturday. He's 59; she's 33. So, I'm doing the math. That means when she's 40, he'll be on wife No. 7." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

now give me the bad news/blondes and Hannity/the Playboy Channel for chimpanzees/dumber BBC

The Washington Post reports that President Trump is being investigated for obstruction of justice, which could wind up costing him the presidency. Trump was like, “OK, now give me the bad news.” –Jimmy Fallon

Fox News is dropping its slogan “fair and balanced.” Instead, it will be replaced with the more appropriate slogan “blondes and Hannity.” –Jimmy Fallon

National Geographic’s new slogan is “basically the Playboy Channel for chimpanzees.” –Jimmy Fallon

BBC America is changing their slogan to “dumber BBC.” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

what have you done with the real Bill Clinton? (Maximum Wage)

"President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. Again, I don’t think he really understands the Olympics that well. Like, they asked him if he liked the decathlon, and he said, no, he preferred regular coffee." --Jay Leno



"And in an interview recorded by the BBC in Africa, Bill Clinton told people in Africa to practice monogamy and that we need to control unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners. In fact, the minute he said that, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground and said, 'Who are you and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton?'" --Jay Leno



"Barack Obama heading to Hawaii for a vacation with his family. And President Bush commented on that today. He said: 'First Europe, now Hawaii. Maybe he should spend some time campaigning in America.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats