“President
Obama lit the national Christmas tree, a 40-foot Colorado Spruce.
Republicans don't believe it's really from Colorado, and they want to see a
birth certificate." –Jay Leno
"George W.
Bush's daughter, Jenna, is moving to New York City so that she can
be closer to her twin sister, Barbara. Meanwhile, their dad plans to visit New
York, so that he can be closer to 'Elf: The Musical.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Have you seen President Bush has already
started running his campaign ads, the theme of which, apparently is, 'This Shit
Ain't My Fault.' No, I'm serious, his ads talk about the attacks of 9/11, the
recession, the dot-com bubble bursting, and then they end with his slogan,
'Vote For Me, Mr. Lucky.'" —Bill Maher
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