He was so excited he grabbed his own a** (he was hoping to free up the tight end)

A super PAC raised more than a million dollars for Andrew Cuomo's mayoral campaign last week. Cuomo was so excited he grabbed his own ass. —Kat Timpf

A green dildo was thrown on the field during a game between the Minnesota Vikings and Tennessee Titans. The fan who tossed it said he was hoping to free up the tight end. —Kat Timpf

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Can you call in horny? (Do you feel what I feel?)

"I love this story. I saw it in the paper today. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer will explore whether he has an addiction to sex. Oh, shut up. Is sex really an addiction? Is it a disease? Do you think it's a disease? Huh? I mean, I've heard people call into work sick. Can you call in horny?" --Jay Leno

"A group of TSA workers at LAX airport have formed a choir to sing to passengers. That's just what you want, a guy with his hands down your pants going, 'Do you feel what I feel?'" –Jay Leno

"John McCain and Sarah Palin attended a campaign rally in Vienna, Ohio, today. They were in Vienna. Apparently, they went to Vienna so Sarah Palin could get some foreign policy experience." --Jay Leno

 

"Doctors in Israel are now slowly drawing Prime Minister Ariel Sharon out of his coma to see what his remaining brain function is. Political experts say it is unlikely someone could run a country with a severe loss of brain activity. I beg to differ." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I wish they would’ve done it digitally (two wives ago)

[As Trump:] “Your spiteful actions display unfettered contempt for America’s founding, and your egregious conduct threatens to destroy that which our founders pledged their very lives to build. Yes, a nation built on the belief that powerful white men face no consequences whatsoever.” --Stephen Colbert

“Then Trump complained about how damaging impeachment has been to those he loves. [As Trump:] You do not know, nor do you care, the great damage and hurt you have inflicted upon wonderful and loving members of my family. You’ve hurt them all, from the innocent wife I cheated on with a porn star, to the poor kids whose mother I bailed on two wives ago — all of them.” --Stephen Colbert

“It’s been reported that in the upcoming film version of ‘Cats,’ the editors digitally removed the actor’s penis. When asked about it, the actor said, ‘I wish they would’ve done it digitally.’” --Conan O’Brien

“President Trump sent a six page letter to Nancy Pelosi about his impeachment. And this might be the most deranged letter to Santa ever. It is a long, stupid, disingenuous and incoherent defense, signed by an angry gorilla with a Sharpie. I mean, is this a signature or a seizure? This is why you don’t snort Sudafed on an empty stomach.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Within ten minutes we had fifty jokes, all with the same punch line. Arnold Schwarzenegger (Thank God I don’t live here)

"After the big snowstorm in Chicago, Mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel has been pitching in digging stranded cars out of the snow. Of course he didn’t help his campaign by telling people, 'Thank God I don’t live here.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Hosni's son Gamal Mubarak says he does not want to become President, which is just as well. If you've seen one Mubarak you’ve seen Gamal." –Conan O'Brien

"A zoo in Britain has a gorilla that walks upright. Not only that, but he texts while he’s doing it. I heard about this. Within ten minutes we had fifty jokes, all with the same punch line. Arnold Schwarzenegger." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Sarah Palin's Congo (786 mountain gorillas)

"A new study found that there are only 786 mountain gorillas left in the world, and that number could go down even further after the premier of the new show, 'Sarah Palin's Congo.'" –Jimmy Fallon 

"President Obama signed into law the repeal of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' What does it say about us that we think gay men can handle armed combat, but can't handle marriage?" –Jay Leno



"Sarah Palin's Alaska' has been such a big hit for TLC, they’re trying to get her to do another season. You know who doesn't want Palin to have a second season? Elk." –Jimmy Fallon 

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans