"The Golden Globes will have an unusual category this year: 'Outstanding Performance by an Animal Killed by Sarah Palin.'" –David Letterman
"Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.'" –Craig Ferguson
"A group of TSA agents has formed a choir to entertain travelers as they go through security. It's not helping that the only song they sing is Journey's 'Loving, Touching, Squeezing.'" –Conan O'Brien
A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s