“Donald Trump celebrated Earth Day today with a shovel. The president, first lady and Mike and Karen Pence gathered on the South Lawn to dig a hole to bury his hair in. Look at how natural — so they are doing physical labor in their suits and heels. Melania is praying right now they don’t dig too close to her escape tunnel.” — Jimmy KImmel
“Today is the 50th Earth Day. The big 5-0. And I gotta say, Earth is still looking good. She’s just getting hotter every year, even with the receding glaciers and putting on a little water weight around the coastline.” — Stephen Colbert
“And you know, honestly, you gotta admit, man, Earth is having the best Earth Day ever. Because ever since coronavirus locked all of us in our homes, animals have been roaming free, the smog has cleared from the sky, the waters of Venice are blue again. Basically, as bad as coronavirus has been for humans, it’s been amazing for the Earth. In fact, I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist, but isn’t Wuhan a part of the Earth?” — Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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