Well that explains the ******** (she was nowhere near Chile)

Meanwhile a former Democrat donor claims Joe Biden was put on drugs before campaign events. Well that explains the erection. —Greg Gutfeld

Off the coast of Chile a kayaker was caught on camera being swallowed by a humpback whale, prompting Joy Behar to say, that she was nowhere near Chile. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one (Gary Busey follow him around with some nunchucks)

"Nobody’s happy about the government shutdown. In fact, the Taliban just issued a statement where they criticized Congress for putting themselves before everyone else. You know things are bad when Americans are saying, 'Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one.'" –Jimmy Fallon

This week, a truck carrying 40,000 pounds of vodka overturned in North Carolina. The driver is fine. He said he’s shaken, but not stirred. –Jimmy Fallon

Now that the dust has settled from the Democratic debate, it looks like Hillary Clinton is going to remain the Democratic front-runner. And believe it or not over on the Republican side, Donald Trump is still in the lead. And now Trump is saying that he should be given Secret Service protection. As opposed to his current security: having Gary Busey follow him around with some nunchucks. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Here are the funds for your Death Star, Lord Trump (This is a man who would sell ad time during a moment of silence)

"It's nice to know that no matter how bad things get in the Middle East, Mitt Romney is always there to make them worse. You saw him this week when our embassies were under attack, before any facts were in he tried to score political points because he sees everything as a business opportunity. This is a man who would sell ad time during a moment of silence." –Bill Maher

"One of the Chilean miners had four women waiting for him; there was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining." –Bill Maher, on one of the Chilean miners

"The Republican who summarized it best was Indiana Republican Marlin Stutzman, who said, 'We're not going to be disrespected. We have to get something out of this, and I don't even know what that is.' Say what you will about a toddler throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. At least he knows he wants Coco Puffs." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So what's the feel-good story of 2011? (China gave him an extension on his rent)

August 2011

"Happy birthday to President Obama, who turned 50 years old. Whether you like him or not, it's a tremendous success story. This guy was born in a hut in Kenya and grew up to be president of the United States." –David Letterman

"Obama got some lovely presents. China gave him an extension on his rent." –David Letterman  

"I was watching Fox News today. I lost a bet." –David Letterman

"A year ago the Chilean miners were rescued. The year before the feel-good story was the guy who landed the plane in the Hudson. So what's the feel-good story of 2011? Anthony Weiner." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I’m not sure this is the kind of trade agreement he went there to negotiate (they're just being paranoid)

"California marijuana farmers are worried that radiation from Japan could affect their crops. Or maybe for some strange reason they're just being paranoid." –Conan O'Brien

'President Obama is in Chile. The President of Chile said Michelle Obama is very good looking, and Obama said the same thing about the Chilean President’s wife. I’m not sure this is the kind of trade agreement he went there to negotiate." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Everyone is focused on March Madness but there haven't been any games in a few days. It's been so boring that President Obama has decided to focus on the situations in Libya and Japan." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Morrissey - Festival de Viña del Mar, Chile 2012 HD - Show Completo

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Chilean miners said, 'Wow, we got off easy.' (yeah, that's our entire plan)

"A California man is suing Disney because he was trapped on the 'It’s a Small World' ride for 40 minutes. When they heard it, the Chilean miners said, 'Wow, we got off easy.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Over 83% of prostitutes have Facebook pages. You can tell which they are because their relationship status is 'It’s simple.'" –Conan O’Brien

"Christina Aguilera is bouncing back from her Super Bowl appearance by singing at the Grammys. She’ll be accompanied by a full orchestra and 135 teleprompters." –Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said that when it comes to hurricane preparedness, step number one is, quote, 'pray that there's no hurricanes.' Later President Bush admitted, yeah, that's our entire plan." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

They can't afford to be seen being for freedom or equality (the Tiger Woods of mining)

from October 2010

"The Obama administration had quite a day today annihilating the people who might vote for them. They appealed the ruling striking down Don't Ask, Don't Tell, even though they are supposed to be for striking it down. And then they said even if California legalized pot, the feds would still come in and bust people. But in fairness to Obama, it is an election year and Democrats can't afford to be seen being for freedom or equality." –Bill Maher

"One of the Chilean miners had four women waiting for him; there was the wife he never divorced, then there was the woman he lives with, then there was his current girlfriend and then the baby mama. He is now known as the Tiger Woods of mining." –Bill Maher, on one of the Chilean miners

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I mean, my God, it's like the Tea Party (name a Supreme Court case that she disagreed with)

"I feel bad for the Chilean miners. They were down there in the dark so long. I mean, my God, it's like the Tea Party." –David Letterman

"A very joyous week. A week where the whole world was watching a bunch of men trying to climb out of a hole they dug for themselves -- but enough about the Democrats. Let's talk about those Chilean miners." –Bill Maher

"They asked Christine O'Donnell to name a Supreme Court case that she disagreed with; she said Kramer vs. Kramer." –Bill Maher on the debate between Delaware Senate candidates Christine O'Donnell and Chris Coons

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

This is the principal difference between a dog and man (They don't have a witch running)

"They say the Chilean miners have been rescued from a subterranean hell. Have they not heard of the New York subway?" –David Letterman

"North Korea is getting a new evil dictator. Kim Jong Il is appointing his dim-witted son, Kim Jong W. Il." –David Letterman

"The midterm elections are in a few weeks, and the Democrats are at a huge disadvantage, and I'll tell you why. They don't have a witch running." –David Letterman

"People are saying that everything is Obama's fault – he hasn't dug us out of Bush's recession and two wars fast enough. That's the problem." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Yahoo just bought a brand new ceiling fan (weed dealers)

"President Obama met with students in the Oval Office who have started their own businesses. Or, as those students are known on campus, 'weed dealers.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Google is investing in an offshore wind farm project that could provide electricity to 1.9 million homes on the East Coast. And not to be outdone, Yahoo just bought a brand new ceiling fan." –Jimmy Fallon

David Letterman's "Top Ten Entries On Barack Obama's Enemies List"

10. Smug know-it-all at Apple Genius Bar

9. 'General Hospital's' Patrick for cheating on Robin with Lisa

8. Secretary who answers the phone, 'Yell-o?'

7. 'Late Show' audio technician Tom Herrmann

6. Those Chilean miners . . . You're trapped, we get it

5. Online store that still hasn't delivered his Captain Kirk chair

4. Anyone who doesn't think 'Glee' makes your spirit soar

3. Drugstores that don't carry Topol, the smoker's tooth polish

2. Late night talk show hosts who deliver lame top ten lists at his expense

1. Bastard who lost his birth certificate

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

we already kind of did that to ourselves back in November (Still has the helmet on)

Sean Spicer is here with us tonight. You may remember his hit reality show "I'm a Press Secretary, Get Me Out of Here." This will be Sean's first television appearance since he escaped from — I mean, resigned from, the Trump administration. I feel like I'm interviewing one of the Chilean miners. Still has the helmet on. –Jimmy Kimmel

In response to the sanctions, North Korea threatened to cause the United States "the greatest pain and suffering it has gone through in its entire history." I hate to break it to you, we already kind of did that to ourselves back in November. –Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

Now I'm not a mathematician, but if you take 33 and reverse it, isn't it still 33?

"Chile's New President, Michelle Bachelet is her name. She is a single mother, a socialist and an agnostic. In this country not only could she not be elected president, but her phone would be tapped by the FBI." --Bill Maher

"President Bush, this is what he said. He said he's not worried about his approval rating at 33% because he said he promises to reverse those numbers. Now I'm not a mathematician, but if you take 33 and reverse it, isn't it still 33?" -- Jay Leno

"According to a new survey by the Pew Research Center, Republicans are happier than Democrats. Well of course they are, they own everything." --Jay Leno