Chilean miners said, 'Wow, we got off easy.' (yeah, that's our entire plan)

"A California man is suing Disney because he was trapped on the 'It’s a Small World' ride for 40 minutes. When they heard it, the Chilean miners said, 'Wow, we got off easy.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Over 83% of prostitutes have Facebook pages. You can tell which they are because their relationship status is 'It’s simple.'" –Conan O’Brien

"Christina Aguilera is bouncing back from her Super Bowl appearance by singing at the Grammys. She’ll be accompanied by a full orchestra and 135 teleprompters." –Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said that when it comes to hurricane preparedness, step number one is, quote, 'pray that there's no hurricanes.' Later President Bush admitted, yeah, that's our entire plan." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

They're being advised to bring their own food and water to the airport. Also their own plane (Dude, that's not really helping)

"Over the weekend Dick Cheney declared Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak a good friend. Mubarak said, 'Dude, that's not really helping.'" –Conan O'Brien

"A lot of Americans are still trapped in Egypt. They're being advised to bring their own food and water to the airport. Also their own plane." –Conan O'Brien

"During the Super Bowl halftime show, the Black Eyed Peas changed the lyrics of their song 'Where is the Love' to call on President Obama to do better in education and jobs. And Christina Aguilera changed the lyrics of the national anthem — just because." –Jimmy Fallon

"During his interview with President Obama last night, Bill O'Reilly asked him to explain how he deals with so many people hating him. In response, Obama said, 'You first.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure and not by gay marriage (while wearing handcuffs)

This is interesting. Christina Aguilera admitted that she has sex while wearing handcuffs. Meanwhile Bobby Brown admitted he does everything while wearing handcuffs. --Conan O’Brien 10/20/2004

This is a weird story. The Kellogg's company announced that they are pulling ads for their cereal off of the show Desperate Housewives because the show promotes loose morals. Not only that Kellogg's fired Snap, Crackle and Pop for having a threesome. --Conan O’Brien 10/20/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

at the Taj Mahal you're only supposed to take your shoes off (Richard Simmons hole punch. It'll penetrate anything)

Christina Aguilera says she's searching for inspiration. She’s India right now now. She has run into a few problems because at the Taj Mahal you're only supposed to take your shoes off. --Conan O’Brien 12/2/2004

They have online auctions of celebrity memorabilia sometimes. At an online auction a a stapler signed by Paris Hilton is going for more than $1,000. Not selling so well, the Richard Simmons hole punch. It'll penetrate anything. --Conan O’Brien 12/2/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

scientists conducted the study by looking out a window (A word to the 1%)

Britney Spears wrote a letter to Christina Aguilera in which she says he wants to end their ongoing feud. I'm not sure Britney's letter is gonna work because it starts out “Dear skank.” --Conan O’Brien 1/12/2005

According to a brand-new scientific study that just came out more than 90 percent of the diet plans used by Americans do not work. The American scientists conducted the study by looking out a window. --Conan O’Brien 1/11/2005

Pakistani officials said today that they are close to capturing Osama bin Laden's personal doctor. Not only that they're hot on the trail of his dentist and his Pilates instructor. --Conan O’Brien 3/19/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the most difficult part was finding time to film the commercial between real orgasms (Where you in a coma from 2001 until 2009?)

It's been reported that Christina Aguilera has been paid close to 1 million dollars to film a commercial where she fakes an orgasm. Aguilera said the most difficult part was finding time to film the commercial between real orgasms. --Conan O’Brien 4/29/2004

It's been reported that a woman who was once Playboy magazines Miss November has come out of the closet and revealed she's a lesbian. Apparently it was pretty obvious since her list of turn ons included Miss October. --Conan O’Brien 1/22/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Dick Cheney's good friend, Hosni Mubarak

"Dick Cheney says that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is a 'good friend.' Why am I not surprised by this?" –David Letterman

"Peru has changed its national anthem. It wasn't too hard to change the lyrics. They just let Christina Aguilera sing it." –Jay Leno

"President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything." –Jay Leno








John Hulse painting