Yahoo just bought a brand new ceiling fan (weed dealers)

"President Obama met with students in the Oval Office who have started their own businesses. Or, as those students are known on campus, 'weed dealers.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Google is investing in an offshore wind farm project that could provide electricity to 1.9 million homes on the East Coast. And not to be outdone, Yahoo just bought a brand new ceiling fan." –Jimmy Fallon

David Letterman's "Top Ten Entries On Barack Obama's Enemies List"

10. Smug know-it-all at Apple Genius Bar

9. 'General Hospital's' Patrick for cheating on Robin with Lisa

8. Secretary who answers the phone, 'Yell-o?'

7. 'Late Show' audio technician Tom Herrmann

6. Those Chilean miners . . . You're trapped, we get it

5. Online store that still hasn't delivered his Captain Kirk chair

4. Anyone who doesn't think 'Glee' makes your spirit soar

3. Drugstores that don't carry Topol, the smoker's tooth polish

2. Late night talk show hosts who deliver lame top ten lists at his expense

1. Bastard who lost his birth certificate

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Candidates end up going to the highest bidder anyway (The margin of error)

"Congratulations to presidential candidate Joe Biden, who has increased his poll numbers from one percent to two percent. Is that a big deal? Two percent? The margin of error is what ... three percent?" --Jay Leno

"Yahoo announced they're going to host the first ever online presidential debate. Why Yahoo? Why not on a eBay? Candidates end up going to the highest bidder anyway." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Why’d you have to do this in OUR town? (torturing themselves)

The second presidential debate is just 11 days away, and this one will have a town hall format. The first question will be, “Why’d you have to do this in OUR town?” –Jimmy Fallon

It’s reported that even the Taliban actually had a debate viewing party. So for the first time, it looks like they’re torturing themselves. –Jimmy Fallon

President Obama’s upcoming South by South Lawn festival at the White House will have a virtual reality psychological experiment that makes you feel like you’re in a small jail cell. Or as Obama calls it, “the Oval Office.” –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, a group of Democratic senators sent a letter to Yahoo asking why they took so long to report the hack of 500 million users. That’s how little faith they have in Yahoo email — they sent a LETTER. –Jimmy Fallon

the time to panic was, like, five months ago..

Donald Trump skipped an RNC event here in New York City today called the Presidential Trust Dinner, even though his campaign said he would go. Then Chris Christie said, “So, does that mean there's an extra plate at the dinner?” –Jimmy Fallon

Jeb Bush has fallen to just 3 percent in a new poll, and his numbers continue to drop. Jeb says this isn't the time to panic — because the time to panic was, like, five months ago. –Jimmy Fallon

Last night was the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on CBS, and it featured models from Brazil, Sweden, and Portugal. Or as Donald Trump put it, “I've changed my mind on immigrants.” –Jimmy Fallon

Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer has a severance package that would pay her $160 million if she gets fired. Which will mark the first time somebody actually TRIES to get drunk at their office holiday party. –Jimmy Fallon