"Saddam Hussein ended
his hunger strike after just one missed meal. I think he finally realized a
hunger strike only works if people don't want you to die." --Jay Leno
"The deputy secretary
for the Department of Homeland Security was arrested after he tried to seduce a
14-year-old girl online, who was actually an undercover detective. I think the
terror alert has been raised to creepy. Homeland Security? We need home room
security. This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to the Bush
administration -- today." --Jay Leno
"This is why
Republicans can't have sex scandals. They're just too creepy. The Democrats,
they've got hookers, mistresses, interns -- not girl scouts!" --Jay Leno
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