"This was a little
frightening. Over the weekend, the Royal Mounted Police up in Canada busted a
group of Canadian terrorists -- a Canadian al Qaeda group. About 19 of them.
Their motto was: 'Death to America, ey?' The Canadian terrorist group was led
by Canadian mastermind, Gordy bin Laden." --David Letterman
"A Tomahawk cruise
missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that
unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass
destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno
"When it gets hot, so
hot you can't stand it and the steam is rising from your scalp, do you worry
about global warming? Well, George Bush is now also worried about global
warming, but he has a plan. He's going to invade the sun." --David
Letterman
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