"President Bush is in
Mexico this week and while he's there, he's going to visit the ancient Mayan
ruins. Apparently, Bush is trying to learn from his mistakes because today he
promised that FEMA will help the Mayans rebuild." --Conan O'Brien
"The good news is
that Congress is cracking down on illegal immigration. The bad news: a head of
lettuce will now cost $300." --Jay Leno
"This problem with
illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for
it. They called it 'white people.'" --Jay Leno
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