"There are reports
the Republican Party were pressuring Tom DeLay to leave. Like this past
weekend, Cheney said if DeLay did not step down, he'd shoot him." --Jay
Leno
"This 56-year-old guy
named Brian Doyle, the deputy press secretary of the Homeland Security
Department, was arrested on 23 counts of using his government computer and cell
pone to try and have sex with a 14-year-old girl. He would send these girls
porno on the Web cam. Nice to see our surveillance cameras being used non-stop
in the war against terror." --Jay Leno
"A second Homeland
Security official has been arrested, a 49-year-old guy named Frank Figueroa, he
was caught exposing and fondling himself to a teenage girl in a shopping mall in
Florida. Do you realize? If Osama bin Laden was a 14-year old girl, we would
have had him by now. Who is going to start protecting us from the Department of
Homeland Security? It kind of makes you long for the good old wholesome days of
the Clinton administration." --Jay Leno
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