Donald
Trump celebrated his 70th birthday today. And I guess instead of blowing out
his candles, he just insulted them until they put themselves out. “You’re too
hot! You smell like wax! You’re the worst part of this cake!” --Jimmy Fallon
Sunday’s
episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” revealed that Kim, Khloe, and
Kourtney found out Rob was engaged to Blac Chyna by reading it online. In Rob’s
defense, that’s also how the Kardashians find out they’re even in the same room
together. --Jimmy Fallon
I
read that a NASA spacecraft, “Juno,” that launched in 2011 is scheduled to
arrive at Jupiter in July to take pictures of the planet. When asked what kind
of camera it brought, Juno was like, “Crap!” --Jimmy Fallon
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