"Mark Foley looks
like he's going to escape criminal charges because apparently his pattern was
to seduce boys verbally when they were like 16 and 17, and wait until they were
18 to actually do anything. I tell you, Republicans have sex the same way they
govern -- barely legal." --Bill Maher
"Elections are only a
few weeks away and it looks like the Republicans are going to lose a lot of
them. I guess desperate times require desperate measures. [on screen: RNC's TV
ad depicting another terrorist attack by Osama bin Laden, followed by a
reminder to vote 11/7]. Let me get this straight. Osama bin Laden is
threatening to attack America again, so what we should do is vote for the
people who haven't been able to catch him for the last five years?."
--Jimmy Kimmel
"[North Korea's Kim
Jong Il] apologized and expressed regret for setting off his nuclear bomb. He
also said that he's an alcoholic, that he was molested as a child, and he's
going into rehab. And he said, 'Me love you long range.'." --Bill Maher
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