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Sunday, June 5, 2016

Republicans have sex the same way they govern (barely legal)



"Mark Foley looks like he's going to escape criminal charges because apparently his pattern was to seduce boys verbally when they were like 16 and 17, and wait until they were 18 to actually do anything. I tell you, Republicans have sex the same way they govern -- barely legal." --Bill Maher

"Elections are only a few weeks away and it looks like the Republicans are going to lose a lot of them. I guess desperate times require desperate measures. [on screen: RNC's TV ad depicting another terrorist attack by Osama bin Laden, followed by a reminder to vote 11/7]. Let me get this straight. Osama bin Laden is threatening to attack America again, so what we should do is vote for the people who haven't been able to catch him for the last five years?." --Jimmy Kimmel

"[North Korea's Kim Jong Il] apologized and expressed regret for setting off his nuclear bomb. He also said that he's an alcoholic, that he was molested as a child, and he's going into rehab. And he said, 'Me love you long range.'." --Bill Maher




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