That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break. (More power to the arm)

"The big immigration bill is dead for now. Some are saying the Republicans didn't really want this bill because it's really more useful for them to have a wedge issue of illegal aliens, the same way they had gay marriage in 2004. That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break." --Bill Maher

"Hillary's speeches may not be exciting, but, by God, every tired, cliched, coma-inducing word is original. Except that they're not, that's the thing. You know, politicians, they all steal. In her closing statement, she ripped off something that Bill Clinton used to say, and he got it from Kennedy, who got it from FDR, who got it from Lincoln, who got it from McCain. He's old." --Bill Maher

 

"There are some people who say, after they watched this debate, that Hillary was kind of conceding that the Clinton campaign realized that end times are near for them. I don't know, but I do know this -- today, she replaced her campaign manager with Britney Spears' father." --Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The latest excuse for Bush administration foul-ups (That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break)

 

"President Bush said today canceling [the ports deal] sends a bad message to the Arab world. You know, not like invading their countries, putting them on leashes, making them masturbate, but bad." --Bill Maher

"The big immigration bill is dead for now. Some are saying the Republicans didn't really want this bill because it's really more useful for them to have a wedge issue of illegal aliens, the same way they had gay marriage in 2004. That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break." --Bill Maher

 

"New rule: You can't be as tired as we are of you. The latest excuse for Bush administration foul-ups is that top members of the White House staff are physically and emotionally exhausted. Hmmm, if there was just some sort of stress-relieving activity that could be performed right there in the Oval Office. I'd suggest a nice vacation out in the country, but the last time that happened, somebody got shot." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Joe Biden thanked him for his contribution too Menudo (Damage Report)

May 2012

"President Obama raised $1 million at a fundraiser hosted by Ricky Martin. Obama thanked Martin for his contribution to the campaign, while Joe Biden thanked him for his contribution too Menudo." –Jimmy Fallon

"Police in California just burned 34,000 marijuana plants that were growing in a state park. The police were very angry about finding all that weed until the wind changed direction." –Jimmy Fallon

"I just read about a new 24-hour day care that's opening in India. Yeah, it's pretty cute, instead of playing telephone, the kids just play tech support." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And by loved ones, I mean... (the truth about Lady Gaga)

"I'm sure everyone is already missing their loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean the TSA guys that give you the pat-down." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama needed 12 stitches after taking an elbow to the mouth during a basketball game, but he learned a valuable lesson: Don't get in the way of Hillary's tomahawk jab." –Craig Ferguson 

"WikiLeaks is a website that gets a hold of classified information and releases it to the public. They get all kinds of top secret stuff: White House memos, government e-mails, the truth about Lady Gaga.” –Craig Ferguson

"The name 'WikiLeaks' doesn't sound like espionage. It sounds like Barbara Walters interviewing Ricky Martin." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

He also said he wants her to be six three with an Adam's apple (one of the songs is about sodomy)

In a recent interview Ricky Martin said that he wants to get married and he's looking for a woman who's quote, “ballsy and strong headed.” He also said he wants her to be six three with an Adam's apple. --Conan O’Brien 7/26/2000

Starbucks announced today that it will not sell Bruce Springsteen's new album because one of the songs is about sodomy. Starbucks said we don't want people listening to a song about getting screwed while they're paying $9 for a cup of coffee. --Conan O’Brien 5/5/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”        

So it's about the same chance Joe Biden has of being president (Something, of course, Bill already knows)

"Ricky Martin -- you know, he's a big Bush supporter and performed at George Bush's first inauguration -- is condemning President Bush and the Iraq war now at his concerts. Ricky Martin wants us out of Iraq now. Of course the Bush administration has not commented. They're still waiting to hear from Marc Anthony." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is being pressed on why she hasn't apologized for voting in favor of the war in Iraq. This week, in a reply, Hillary actually told voters who were upset about this: 'You have other choices.' Something, of course, Bill already knows." --Jay Leno

"A team of astronauts, engineers and scientists have asked the United Nations to make plans to deflect a giant asteroid that could hit Earth on April 13, 2036. There's a one in 45,000 chance it could hit. So it's about the same chance Joe Biden has of being president." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

free piece of cake (I said ‘Tom Cruise.’)

Ted Cruz is actually being considered by Donald Trump to be attorney general. Though it will be pretty awkward when he shows up on his first day of work and Trump goes, “I said ‘Tom Cruise.’” –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, “I’m eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.” While Biden said, “If you tell the waiter it’s your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.” –Jimmy Fallon

Ricky Martin announced that he is engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be Syrian. Ricky got down on one knee and said, “Will you help me make Donald Trump’s head explode?” –Jimmy Fallon

President Bush was leaking classified documents in the park (poor Ricky Martin)

"The big immigration bill is dead for now. Some are saying the Republicans didn't really want this bill because it's really more useful for them to have a wedge issue of illegal aliens, the same way they had gay marriage in 2004. That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break." --Bill Maher

  

"It was so nice down in Washington, D.C. today that President Bush was leaking classified documents in the park." --David Letterman

"I do want to begin with an update on our Vice President, Dick Cheney. He didn't shoot anyone else, but he is a man a heartbeat away from both the presidency and one count of manslaughter." --Jon Stewart

That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break (mild, medium and caliente)

"The big immigration bill is dead for now. Some are saying the Republicans didn't really want this bill because it's really more useful for them to have a wedge issue of illegal aliens, the same way they had gay marriage in 2004. That poor Ricky Martin. He just can't catch a break." --Bill Maher

"Under this Senate compromise, the 11 million illegals would be put into three different groups: mild, medium and caliente." --Bill Maher

"A Homeland Security official named Brian Doyle was arrested for soliciting sex from a teenager, who was of course a cop on the Internet. And some of their chats went on for hours, because you know Homeland Security, they take forever to come. I don't mind that this guy is a pervert, but if you are one of our fist-line of defense Homeland Security people, and you can't figure out that it's a setup when a teenager on the Internet says 'I'm 13, and I think old guys who work for the government are hot,' yes, then you are literally sitting around with your d*ck in your hands." --Bill Maher