"The big immigration
bill is dead for now. Some are saying the Republicans didn't really want this
bill because it's really more useful for them to have a wedge issue of illegal
aliens, the same way they had gay marriage in 2004. That poor Ricky Martin. He
just can't catch a break." --Bill Maher
"It was so nice down
in Washington, D.C. today that President Bush was leaking classified documents
in the park." --David Letterman
"I do want to begin
with an update on our Vice President, Dick Cheney. He didn't shoot anyone else,
but he is a man a heartbeat away from both the presidency and one count of
manslaughter." --Jon Stewart
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