And by loved ones, I mean... (the truth about Lady Gaga)

"I'm sure everyone is already missing their loved ones. And by loved ones, I mean the TSA guys that give you the pat-down." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama needed 12 stitches after taking an elbow to the mouth during a basketball game, but he learned a valuable lesson: Don't get in the way of Hillary's tomahawk jab." –Craig Ferguson 

"WikiLeaks is a website that gets a hold of classified information and releases it to the public. They get all kinds of top secret stuff: White House memos, government e-mails, the truth about Lady Gaga.” –Craig Ferguson

"The name 'WikiLeaks' doesn't sound like espionage. It sounds like Barbara Walters interviewing Ricky Martin." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”