NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Ottawa Senators

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh you're going to hate being married (Michael Moore in a damp Mu Mu)

Some federal workers are upset about Elon Musk’s request to list 5 things they did at work. Okay so an email that asks you what you did at work is terrifying. Oh you're going to hate being married. —Greg Gutfeld

Elon Musk says DOGE is completely transparent. Of course too much transparency can suck, like if you come across Michael Moore in a damp Mu Mu. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it's been a pretty tough year over at Outbreak Farms (As if the people in that building don't cry enough already)

And finally, the California farm that recently recalled Romaine lettuce for possible E. coli contamination is now recalling cauliflower and other lettuces grown on the farm. All in all, it's been a pretty tough year over at Outbreak Farms. --Seth Meyers

Adele will perform at Madison Square Garden six times in 2016 as part of her new world tour. As if the people in that building don't cry enough already. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NHL: Colorado Avalanche vs Winnipeg Jets

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

a convicted felon is beating me in the polls (Young Buck Ready to...)

“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday titled ‘Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.’ Yeah, we know. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the door.” — Seth Meyers

“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday that claims President Biden appears to be slipping in private meetings. He keeps saying crazy stuff that makes no sense like, ‘a convicted felon is beating me in the polls.’” — Seth Meyers

“Still, I am confident that The Wall Street Journal knows ‘Old Man is Old’ is breaking news, but I’m sure they will balance that perspective in their article about their 93-year-old boss Rupert Murdoch’s wedding: ‘Young Buck Ready to [Expletive].’” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Today, just to be safe, Obama burned his house down (Cuz we put him in a cage... and he got out)

Today a White House adviser compared President Trump to Houdini, because “if you keep him in a cage, he’s gonna get out.” When asked how he knew that, he said, “’Cuz we put him in a cage... and he got out.” --Jimmy Fallon

“They're finding classified documents everywhere. First Trump, now Biden. Today, just to be safe, Obama burned his house down.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So it looks like Mitt Romney may have found his running mate (My guess: a personality)

"In his new campaign ad, President Obama asks, 'What is Mitt Romney hiding?' My guess: a personality." –Jay Leno

"During a fundraiser at a country club in Mississippi, Mitt Romney said the GOP is a party focused on helping the poor. See, his wife Ann is right, he is funny. He can make jokes." –Jay Leno

"An Indiana man has pleaded guilty to strapping four kids to the hood of his car and then driving them around. So it looks like Mitt Romney may have found his running mate." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The move was led by the tribe's leader, Dances to Gaga (You know, Siberia’s not so bad)

"In Washington a Native American tribe has approved same-sex marriage. The move was led by the tribe's leader, Dances to Gaga." –Conan O'Brien

A new study claims that first grade students are getting three times more homework than they should be doing. This is coming from the lead researcher, "Timmy." –Conan O’Brien

A Russian spy plane was spotted over New Jersey. Yeah. The Russian pilot was overheard saying, “You know, Siberia’s not so bad.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the Russians claim to have video footage of everything Trump has ever said on television (drinking problem)

"A Colorado company has introduced the first marijuana vending machine. As a result, the vending machines around it are doing much better." –Conan O'Brien

In Florida, an 87-year-old man has donated 100 gallons of blood throughout his lifetime. And the weird thing is, only half of it is his. --Conan O’Brien

Engineers have begun trying to find a way to brew beer on the moon. Which means we’ll soon have astronauts calling into Mission Control saying, “Houston, we have a drinking problem.” –Conan O’Brien

James Comey says he believes that the Russians may have damaging information on President Trump. For example, the Russians claim to have video footage of everything Trump has ever said on television. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

she’s starting to realize that they’re not going to let her behead anyone ever again (America could have sent over a dog in glasses)

June 2021

“And the meeting of the world’s most powerful liberal democracies had a lot on their plate this year, like combating climate change, trying to figure out how to stop corporations from evading tax, and countering China’s growing economic and political influence around the world. They also had to make time to take a group photo where they all look like the white side of a chessboard.” —Trevor Noah

“Joe Biden met American’s oldest and palest ally, Great Britain, including meeting Boris Johnson. Biden reportedly brought him a custom-made bike while Johnson gave him a framed picture of Frederick Douglass printed out from Wikipedia. That is a huge disparity in gift-giving. Biden comes in with a $6,000 personalized bike and Boris shows up with a photo of a guy Biden went to high school with?” —Trevor Noah

“Biden also met the Queen, who was filmed cutting a cake with a sword, something she decided to do because it was unusual. She’ll do anything to shake things up. I feel for the Queen. She’s 95 years old and she’s starting to realize that they’re not going to let her behead anyone ever again.” —Trevor Noah

“At the G7 summit, world leaders were quick to praise Biden while refusing to say Trump’s name; I think they remain traumatized. The bar is incredibly low. People are like, ‘Biden is so much better’ but having anyone is so much better. America could have sent over a dog in glasses.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

when you are dealing with a pack of decomposing racists... (Frederick Douglass's 1852 speech)

“Less well-trodden territory is the Trump administration’s dismantling of the US post office ahead of an election that will probably depend on mail-in ballots. We already know to expect that Republicans will do whatever it takes to prevent black and Hispanic people from voting, but it’s truly terrifying to see how the pandemic is allowing them to suppress voter turnout at warp speed. Still, we should allow ourselves to feel hope for the future, and then we should get right back to work, because when you are dealing with a pack of decomposing racists, you have to expect the worst.” —Samantha Bee 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

China will only be able to spy on our phones, TVs, cars and refrigerators (Frederick Douglass's 1852 speech)

August 2020

“Well guys, with the coronavirus surging and the economy cratering. President Trump is turning his attention to what’s really important: threatening to ban the Chinese-owned app TikTok in the US, citing a vague national security threat. 

What is he doing? Is he the president of the United States or the preacher from Footloose? Apparently this is a real national security threat: the Chinese government knowing which Americans can and can’t dance. I’m sure it has everything to do with national security and nothing to do with the TikTok teens who sabotaged his Tulsa rally. 

Or it could be that Trump is playing hardball with China, since if he bans TikTok, China will only be able to spy on our phones, TVs, cars and refrigerators. So, that’s where he draws the line.

As for reports that Microsoft will purchase the app, Fallon found the idea of the American tech giant owning the video-loop app laughable. The most non-TikTok-y people are buying TikTok. It’s a big day for the three TikTok fans that also love Excel spreadsheets.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Damn that's how bad this job is (repairing broken men)

So now Trump needs a new chief of staff which is arguably the most important job in the White House. They advise the president, they control access to the president, they get the president out of the tanning bed before he burns. So they need to find a strong candidate. The problem is right now they can't find anyone. 

“The presidents top advisors expected Mike Pence's chief of staff Nick Ayers to replace John Kelly but over the weekend Ayers took himself out of the running. Nick Ayers made clear to the president he had plans to move his young family back home to Georgia.” 

Damn that's how bad this job is. President Trump offered it to his own guy and he responds by fleeing to another state. --Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”