the same thing they said every time they try to reopen Jurassic Park (Come and get them, you b*stards)

January 2023

A mattress review site is paying people to test the theory that eating cheese before bed will give a person nightmares. But if you’re in bed eating cheese in bed until you pass out, your life is already a nightmare. —Colin Jost

Facebook announced that it will reinstate former President Donald Trump’s account, but this time they’ll put guardrails in place to keep him under control, which I think is the same thing they said every time they try to reopen Jurassic Park. —Colin Jost

Representatives for Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama issued statements saying they all turned over classified records before leaving office. While Jimmy Carter issued a statement saying, ‘Come and get them, you bastards.’ —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”