“The new batch of classified documents found at Biden’s Delaware residence isn’t great for Biden. He shouldn’t have had those documents. But the revelations have led to some very silly punditry claiming that Biden is somehow in the same position as Donald Trump. They’re like two guys who got pulled over for erratic driving. Biden immediately rolls down the window, hands over his license and registration, passes the breathalyzer and says sorry officer but in my defense, even stone-cold sober I do this. Trump, on the other hand, is the guy who refuses to pull over, gets chased down, goes over those one-way spikes in the parking lot, blows out his tire, drives for another mile on sparking rims, crashes into a duck pond, gives cocaine and a gun to a duck and says ‘if anyone asks, this is yours.’ Tries to swim away even though the pond is shallow enough to stand, gets to the other side where the police are waiting for him and says, ‘Oh, I didn’t realize I was living in Soviet Russia.’” —Seth Meyers
“Just when you think you’ve seen Donald Trump at his Trumpiest, he shows up at a funeral and sets a new world record for ridiculousness. That new record was set at a memorial service for Lynette Hardaway, AKA Diamond of Diamond and Silk, two well-known Trump superfans. Over a hundred mourners gathered to hear the former president wax poetic about one of his most loyal fans, and he almost did. He almost spoke about her. Instead, for 44 minutes, Trump rambled about NAFTA, tax cuts, crowd size, illegal immigration, the election, why they don’t put Melania on magazine covers any more, and bragged about how The Apprentice was the No. 1 show on television. Basically, this speech had all the sincerity and grace you could possibly expect from the man who buried the mother of his children at the 16th hole of his golf course. And the crazy thing is I bet he thinks it went great. I bet he feels like he just won a Soul Train award.” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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