Oh, I was expecting someone else. Sorry. (One man got a pair for his wife, and he hasn't seen her since)

An Australian company has developed a new pair of smart yoga pants that vibrate when you hold a yoga pose correctly. One man got a pair for his wife, and he hasn't seen her since. –Jimmy Fallon

Arnold Schwarzenegger met Pope Francis at the Vatican today. When the Pope heard it was the guy that said, “I’ll be back,” he said, “Oh, I was expecting someone else. Sorry.” –Jimmy Fallon

That's right, the Broncos beat the Patriots to win the AFC Championship last night. Tom Brady was sacked four times. Brady was hit so hard, a kid in the stands actually caught one of his Uggs. –Jimmy Fallon

"A new helicopter service called Gotham Air is now offering users cheap flights from Manhattan to JFK or Newark airports that start at just $99. If there's two words I trust together in the same sentence, it's 'cheap' and 'helicopter.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”