Who wants to lick the flyswatter? (Ted Kennedy sent over a couple Bloody Marys)

"Have you been watching the Samuel Alito confirmation hearings? They're so dull, CBS has ordered 13 more episodes. This Alito guy is so tight that to loosen him up, finally, Ted Kennedy sent over a couple Bloody Marys." --David Letterman

 

"How about that Presidential campaign, huh? Mitt Romney now has suspended his campaign. Yeah, but don't worry about Mitt. He's already gone back to playing Ridge Forrester on 'The Bold and the Beautiful.'" --David Letterman

"It's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression." -David Letterman

"Experts believe that now that Fidel has resigned, he will either be succeeded by his brother, Raul, or by his idiot son, Fidel W. Castro." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”