Saddam Hussein's reaction to his death sentence

"After a nine-month trial, an Iraqi high tribunal sentenced former dictator Saddam Hussein to death by hanging. Which, in Iraq, is still considered natural causes. The verdict prompted jubilation in Baghdad, where overjoyed Shiites took to the streets. Many of Saddam's fellow Sunnis demonstrated in Takreet. Here's what I think is the problem we're having in Iraq: We can't tell who's happy and who's mad." --Jon Stewart

"Saddam Hussein couldn't have been more pleased. The death by hanging sentence was a plea bargain. It was knocked down from the standard sentence for crimes against humanity, which is beheading, re-heading, a semi-lethal injection coupled with an electrocution, a 15-minute time-out to think about what you've done and then they give you Lou Gehrig's disease." --Daily Show correspondent John Oliver, on Saddam Hussein's reaction to his death sentence

"Reverend Ted Haggard, president of the 30 million member National Association of Evangelicals, resigned his post this weekend after admitting to a three-year relationship with a gay hooker. Oh, and he also used and purchased crystal meth. Because if you're the head of a gay-hating organization and you're having a gay affair, why not go nuts?" --Jon Stewart