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Showing posts with label Hollywood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hollywood. Show all posts

Saturday, August 8, 2026

It hasn’t taken nearly as long as Vietnam or Korea or getting home from Troy (Trump calls it the feel-good movie of the summer)


“The Iran war is now six months old. Trump says please keep it in perspective: It hasn’t taken nearly as long as Vietnam or Korea or getting home from Troy.” — Bill Maher

“Have you seen ‘The Odyssey’? Amazing that Hollywood has a movie this big, people going to see it at two in the morning. This is awesome. And if you haven’t seen it, it’s about a serial adulterer who gets stuck in a war that takes forever. Trump calls it the feel-good movie of the summer.” — Bill Maher 


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Sunday, May 3, 2026

She was given a ticket for not having tinted windows (dad bods)


A woman was sentenced to 30 years for her role in hiding a decomposing corpse. So, congrats to law enforcement for finally nabbing Karine Jean-Pierre. —Greg Gutfeld


The Rock was pulled over in Hollywood and given a ticket for having tinted windows. Meanwhile, Kathy Griffin was given a ticket for not having tinted windows. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Thursday, March 19, 2026

He called for a 10-foot fence to be built around Hollywood (Oops! All My Fault!)


"Looks like some kind of civil war is brewing in Iraq. Well, who could have seen that coming? That came out of left field, huh? They say it is total chaos over there. People are roaming the streets with guns. It's like everyone is Dick Cheney now." --Jay Leno


"Well, folks, it looks like California's about to legalize marijuana. Yeah, yeah. You thought Governor Schwarzenegger was hard to understand before." –Jay Leno

 

"You know what's amazing? All the acting Oscars went to foreigners. Foreigners won everything. In fact, today, Lou Dobbs called for a 10-foot fence to be built around Hollywood." --Jay Leno


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Monday, October 20, 2025

A.I. Harvey Weinstein (the most banned book in America)


It was reported that major talent agencies in Hollywood are interested in signing a new A.I.-generated actress named Tilly Norwood. The A.I.-generated actress got her start after she had a hotel meeting with A.I. Harvey Weinstein. —Colin Jost


A new report of American school districts finds that the most banned book in America is "A Clockwork Orange.” In close second… "Michael Che's Guide to Drawing Muhammad.” —Colin Jost


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Thursday, July 10, 2025

Although she still claims he died from having a different stroke (client list, condensed)


Thanks to a temporary increase in the Earth's rotation, today was the shortest day in history. To make it feel longer, watch Fox News at 8. —Greg Gutfeld


Gary Coleman's ex-wife failed a lie detector test, leaving many to believe she was involved in his death. I know. I bet right now Gary is turning over in his shoe box. If she goes to trial, it'll be at small claims court. Although she still claims he died from having a different stroke. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Monday, June 9, 2025

rescuers were able to get him out after about 35 quarters (Wonder Man)


“Wonder Woman” made $100 million at the box office this weekend. Meanwhile, Wonder Man made $121 million for doing the same job. –Seth Meyers


A boy in Maryland this weekend was trapped in an arcade claw machine after climbing through the prize door. Luckily, rescuers were able to get him out after about 35 quarters. –Seth Meyers


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Saturday, April 12, 2025

Wow, even they don’t want to see Snow White (Leave my future wife out of this)


Doge says that millions of dollars in unemployment claims have gone to people who aren't even born yet. "Leave my future wife out of this," said Leonardo DiCaprio. —Greg Gutfeld


China is threatening to block Hollywood movies in retaliation to Trump's tariffs. Wow, even they don’t want to see Snow White. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Thursday, April 3, 2025

What if I told you... (a pork-flavored lollipop)


Hollywood thinks we're idiots for wanting exciting movies with relatable heroes. So instead they gave you a musical celebrating a transgender drug dealer. Amelia Perez got 13 Oscar nominations and sold about 13 tickets. But you got to admit getting neutered helps you hit the high notes. —Greg Gutfeld


Movie theaters can throw in all the goodies they want, but it won't help if the movies suck harder than The View on a pork-flavored lollipop. —Greg Gutfeld


Rather than make movies people want to go see they offer crap that actually makes the experience worse. And you know what that reminds me of? You guessed it, the Democrat party. Instead of approving the product they keep appealing to their worst customers. Even the New York Times admits it. The rag put out a scathing rebuke of the party, saying they're in denial of their 2024 election loss. The Times of all places even say even says they moved too far to the left. Hell, that's like Chris Christie telling you to lay off the donuts. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Monday, March 10, 2025

Meatball Doms (proving once again that Geeks will say anything to get laid)


A group of scientists say women who abstain from sex may be putting their health in jeopardy, proving once again that Geeks will say anything to get laid. —Greg Gutfeld


Alec Baldwin and 50 Cent will appear at the reopening of New York city's planted Hollywood. 50 was the only one willing to do it with Alec since he's already been shot nine times. —Greg Gutfeld


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Thursday, February 27, 2025

It's a sad moment for the show (Four out of five citizens love democracy!)


It's a sad moment for the show. Joy Reid is out. Of course we’re heartbroken for she provided this show with more material than a seamstress at The View. On slow news days Joy was always there to help with a racist rant. I loved her. 

Now I don't like to use hyperbole but Joy’s firing is the biggest blow to racists since the Confederacy lost. But you got to wonder how she was able to last this long. The irony of course is in her name, for did Joy bring any joy to anyone's life? I'm willing to bet no one ever said, you know I was going through a tough period in my life and listening to Joy Reid really got me through it. If anything it was their tough periods in life that that got them through Joy Reid. 

But that's the problem with MSNBC and Legacy Media. Their income was based on making life worse instead of focusing on real stuff. They created hoaxes, ones that sew division in hopelessness. 

Now, Joy’s firing came on the heels of MSNBC's parent company NBC Universal, settling a $30 million defamation lawsuit with a Georgia gynecologist. In 2020 the network reported that the doctor working at an ICE Detention Center was performing unwanted hysterectomies on immigrant women. The network called the doctor the ‘uterus collector’. I know, that was my nickname in college. Chris Hayes was one of those who peddled this story about the ‘uterus collector’ but his only proof was that his was missing. 

And yes the story sounds horrible, almost too horrible to be believed. But for people in Legacy Media who suspend Common Sense on all things Trump, it was just too good to check. It had to be true, but it wasn’t. And the tip off right away is that these hacks would actually condemn a doctor forcibly collecting uteruses. And you think the fact that no one else was reporting this might have been another clue for these great investigative journalists? 

So how far were they off? Well the judge in the case states that there’s ‘undisputed evidence has been established that there were no mass hysterectomies at the facility.’ And the doctor is not quote ‘a uterus collector’. So other than that, their reporting was perfect. So MSNBC has reportedly decided to settle up rather than risk a trial. 

But you still got to wonder how this story, this hoax, got this far? Well what was the point of the hoax in the first place? To damage Trump and his determination to finally tighten the border. They wanted to believe it was true, you know like when I told that flight attendant it was a war injury. 

The the anchors just love the idea that there was a sinister doctor forcibly removing uteruses so that these women couldn't have kids after entering the US. It's so evil, so fascist, so Trumpian. Seriously, how soon will Hollywood make a movie of that? The evil doctor could be played by Kevin Spacey and the uterus could be played by Peter Dinklage. It makes no sense. 

But again, how did they fall for this garbage? Well first, maybe they felt that if they were wrong, of course no would would check, but also any belief system is a Continuum and if you go far enough out with it you can arrive at a very bad place. Especially if you already start at a bad place, like saying Trump is Hitler. 

Joy Reid said in 2024 that if Biden were in a coma, she would vote for him. Why not, you did the same thing in 2020? Meanwhile coma patients are blinking out Morse Code for, come on guys we're not that bad! Amazing, but you can see how Joy laid the groundwork for the hoax. 

So what's left of MSNBC? Well they're replacing Joy with a three-person panel, so if it's a slow news day they can call each other racist. Which raises the other question. Rachel Maddow and the others pushed the uterus story, Reid did not. So why is Joy fired and the rest of them aren’t? Is it because they're all white? I mean here's a case where Joy can actually cry racism, and finally for once, it might be true. —Greg Gutfeld


 https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


Tuesday, February 4, 2025

He's already landed the lead in the reboot of The Walking Dead (they're complicit)

Congratulations to Joe Biden who signed with the Hollywood Powerhouse agency CAA. He's already landed the lead in the reboot of The Walking Dead. Meanwhile Kamala Harris just signed a deal to get her old job back at McDonald’s. —Greg Gutfeld 


Mexican president Claudia Sheinbaum made a deal with Trump to pause tariffs and put 10,000 Mexican troops on the border. And the best part is they all fit in one car. —Greg Gutfeld 


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Their ratings were terrible (I’m not even sure he was in a movie this year)


"We have a new Congress starting today. The 114th Congress convened today in our nation's capital. I thought Congress got canceled after last season. Their ratings were terrible." –Jimmy Kimmel


Hollywood awards season is in full bloom as nominations for Academy Awards came out today. There are a lot of familiar faces among the nominees. Meryl Streep is nominated for the 21st time. Denzel Washington was nominated for his ninth Oscar and I’m not even sure he was in a movie this year. That’s how good he is. --Jimmy Kimmel


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Monday, December 30, 2024

it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair (Except for that wet T-shirt contest I judged in Cancun)


Today, the Electoral College officially cast its votes for president, and Bill Clinton actually teared up after voting for Hillary, saying that he’s never cast a vote he’s been prouder of. Then he said, “Except for that wet T-shirt contest I judged in Cancun.” –Jimmy Fallon


"During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, 'Never paint your wife or your mother.' Then he added, 'Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.'" –Jimmy Fallon


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Sunday, April 14, 2024

But like they say, there’s still plenty of fish in the sea-metary (5 minutes later)


O.J. Simpson died this week at the age of 76 after a battle with prostate cancer that was planted on him by the LAPD. —Michael Che

72 year old Jerry Turner from The Golden Bachelor announced that he and his 70 year old wife are divorcing after three months of marriage. But like they say, there’s still plenty of fish in the sea-metary. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”




 

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

That’s how good he is. (because even she forgot who he was)


Jeb needed a big win last night but he really disappeared. He finished seventh of eight in total talking time. He was the least-Googled candidate in the debate. The only person who Googled Jeb Bush last night was his mother, Barbara, because even she forgot who he was. –Jimmy Kimmel


Hollywood awards season is in full bloom as nominations for Academy Awards came out today. There are a lot of familiar faces among the nominees. Meryl Streep is nominated for the 21st time. Denzel Washington was nominated for his ninth Oscar and I’m not even sure he was in a movie this year. That’s how good he is. --Jimmy Kimmel


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Friday, November 10, 2023

There is only us against them (I also do accents)


SAG-AFTRA Union reached a tentative deal with studios on Wednesday, allowing Hollywood actors to return to work after 118 days. One member of the actors’ negotiating committee said that there were ‘tears of exhilaration and joy’ in the room after the deal was approved, and it only took them a few takes. It was very realistic. — Jimmy Kimmel

“The Hallmark Channel immediately started shooting all 1,200 of its Christmas movies this morning.” — Jimmy Kimmel


“It is a big night: the S.A.G. strike is over. Which means Hollywood can finally get back to what they do best: turning your children gay.” — Sarah Silverman

“When the actors heard a deal had been reached, they gasped, screamed, laughed, cried, and then were like ‘I also do accents.’” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Saturday, October 14, 2023

The thief apparently made off with the man's entire argument (And by the looks of him, I’m guessing that shower never happened)


"This weekend a man in Oregon who is an advocate for the open carry of firearms was robbed at gunpoint. The thief apparently made off with the man's entire argument." –Seth Meyers


The New Yorker today released audio of fired Hollywood movie producer Harvey Weinstein begging a model to come into his hotel room and watch him shower. And by the looks of him, I’m guessing that shower never happened. –Seth Meyers


Despite claiming last week that he would have rushed the Oregon shooter to save lives, Dr. Ben Carson yesterday recounted how he was once held up at gunpoint in a Popeye’s Chicken and told the gunman, “I believe you want the guy behind the counter.” So we know at least one guy who’s DEFINITELY not voting for Ben Carson. –Seth Meyers


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Friday, September 15, 2023

Of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president (Joe Biden's clock)


Ivanka Trump said that she doesn’t speak out against her dad publicly because “when you’re part of a team, you’re part of a team.” I think what she meant to say is “when you’re part of a will, you’re part of a will.” –Jimmy Fallon


Donald Trump's star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood was vandalized last week with a yellow "X." When they asked Trump about the "X" he said, "Be more specific. I have many exes.” –Jimmy Fallon


Yesterday Joe Biden told some of Hillary’s campaign workers that he’s also had pneumonia before, and that if the doctor tells you to take three days off, you should actually take SIX days off. Of course, that advice only really works if your job is vice president. –Jimmy Fallon


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

And then he went outside and turned on the lights on the big 50-foot statue of Ronald Reagan (I thought I had it bad)


"There is something indicative about his character because it seems like Mitt Romney was kind of a bully. This was not the only bullying thing he did. He also took poor kids' lunch money – oh, I'm sorry, that's his present-day economic policy." –Bill Maher


"The head of the RNC Reince Priebus attacked Democrats today for worshiping Hollywood movie stars. And then he went outside and turned on the lights on the big 50-foot statue of Ronald Reagan." –Bill Maher


"When Mitt Romney was in prep school he led a pack of his friends to forcibly hold down this sensitive gay kid as he screamed and cried, and then cut off his hair, because he had too long hair for Mitt's tastes. And today Mitt's dog said, 'I thought I had it bad." –Bill Maher


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”